Dies to Removal

I cannot stand buzzwords. I think it's because I actually love language, and some words can have an emotional and cognitive feedback, and buzzwords are the opposite of those: stupid catchphrases designed to shortcut your way past any sort of though processes and just think what the person saying it wants you to think. Doesn't help that relying on them too much is the surest sign I know of to indicate you're brain isn't firing on all synapses. Really rustles my jimmies.

Also, holy shit, I get that you're old and your insurance premiums skyrocket even for the slightest fender bender but it's not any safer to drive 40 mph in a 55!

Utah drivers, winter time, 50 sleeves in ultra pro boxs

People thinking irony is the same as funny coincidence and thinking luck is some metaphysical force that's out to get them, except some people have learned to harness it like a Jedi and topdeck the right card every time.

Not MTG related:
- Rudeness
- People intentionally lacking courtesy in order to take advantage (My wife used to have a friend who would intentionally just plain cut in a line, because he knew almost no one would challenge him...and if they did, he'd act as "macho" as he could. He wasn't a very macho guy, but he was right about the first part. He didn't get to stick around long after she and I became a couple.)
- People who don't get that a good life really IS strongly correlated to hard work, and think that people who are well off are dickbags for being better off than them. (Case in point, my wife's ex and his family...anyone who wasn't ghetto like them was a "terrible person." Since my in-laws aren't exactly the Clampetts pre-oil strike...there was immediate animosity.)
- Ringing phones/phone calls...at my last job, my cell pretty much ran my life, even during off hours (well...hours I wasn'
t in the office. I didn't HAVE "off" hours.) When I left to go back to school, I got rid of my phone, and haven't missed it. When my house phone rings, it's like nails on a chalkboard, and I can't get off it soon enough.
- Political Correctness: Seriously...fuck that noise up, down, and sideways. I'm lumping Lady Gaga's "Bullying should be a hate crime" BS in there. Guess what? I was picked on in grade school, jr high, and some of high school, oh and even some of college. It happens! Grow the fuck up and learn to deal with it. If people are being physically abusive...there's lines there where you need to get help if they're crossed...but words? Grow a thicker skin, pansy.

MTG Related:
- Most of the retarded slang that's cropped up in my near-decade hiatus from the game. At the top of that list...saying "swing" for attacking. Saying "attack" is JUST as easy, and doesn't make you sound like a window-licker like "swing" does. "To the dome&
quot; for direct damage is right up there too. I love this game, but that doesn't mean I have to surrender to talking like an idiot to play it. I love skiing and snowboarding too (I live right in the mouth of one of the canyons considered some of the best snow to ski on on earth...at least, that's what our travel bureau tells people) and I still think the ski-rats sound like morons when they say "Ohhhh, yeah...gonna go hit some wicked pow-pow, brah!" It's "powder," idiot...not "pow-pow." If I could go back in time and find who introduced these stupid, STUPID terms to Magic...I'd just flat out kill em. The jail time'd be worth it. Besides, if I could go back in time to do that, it's pretty safe to say that I could probably just jump forward in time to escape punishment. Booyah.
- Clingers/Barnacles. If you want to be my friend, hang out with me, whatever...that's cool. But please, for the love of all that's holy, shower first, and try not to overnerd it. We're already
playing a fantasy card game on a Friday night...let's not turn the nerdiness all the way up to 11. If you insist on making crashing and banging sound effects when you're talking about summoning your Cobblebrute...first off all, why are you summoning a Cobblebrute?!? Secondly, go talk to those guys, I'm sure they want to hear it.
- People who won't listen. I don't claim to be an expert, but a lot of the time, even *I* can see that something's a bad idea in your deck. If you're coming to a playtest group, be willing to listen to feedback instead of just saying "Well, it works in my deck." NO! It doesn't! That's why we're saying "That card doesn't seem to work very well in your deck!"
- Pros. Seriously. Most of them seem like tools, and a lot of them are just unimpressive. I've seen ONE that I liked. I won't put his name down on the off-chance that a Google search for his name ever turns up this rant...I'm sure he wouldn't be thrilled about being the one pro I like...that'd
probably be a badge of DISHONOR.

Ok...that's enough for now...I'm feeling all jimmy rustled.

MtG Related
- Legacy
- suggesting maverick splash black
- suggesting the unban of gush
- suggesting the unban of memory jar
- suggesting that mind twist should stay banned because 'mud'
- MUD...just the deck itself
- Most maverick players (I stopped posting in the maverick thread at mtgs for a reason)
- General magic things
- putting your lands out front
- Wearing earphones while playing
- being a dick
- Stubbornly playing out matches when you cannot possibly win (this is why I cannot take the argument eggs should be banned because time seriously)
General
- People who speed up behind you when you change lanes
- Traffic that exists for no discernible reason
- Houston Traffic pretty much
- Not putting cheese on a cheeseburger
- subway employes failing to understand that I love olives.
- Samurai X: Reflection

Probably more but that's all I can think of.

Crying babies on airplanes
Body odor
People who don't say 'please' or 'thank you'
People who ignore you when you hold the door open for them
Men who hate women and/or treat them with contempt
Threadshatting and threadshatters
Bureaucracy and paperwork
Entitlements that strip people of their motivation and sense of purpose
Teenagers who throw around the word 'ignorant' but have never read a book outside of their classes
Animal cruelty

If I ever, ever become the person who takes a picture of my food and posts it to a social media site for the purposes of showing my followers what I eat, you have my full, legally bonded permission to either beat me to death or run me through a series of Jigsaw-esque sacrifice puzzles in an effort to make me see the error of my ways, your choice.

My complete inability to grow a beard

Political Correctness: Seriously...fuck that noise up, down, and sideways. I'm lumping Lady Gaga's "Bullying should be a hate crime" BS in there. Guess what? I was picked on in grade school, jr high, and some of high school, oh and even some of college. It happens! Grow the fuck up and learn to deal with it. If people are being physically abusive...there's lines there where you need to get help if they're crossed...but words? Grow a thicker skin, pansy.

yeah, this so much.

- putting your lands out front

people do this?

- subway employes failing to understand that I love olives.

Holy shit this happens all the time. Dropping 6-8 little slices of olive on a footlong rages my inner wog

And putting your lands out in front is a '93 magic thing. Back then everyone did it and when I see someone do it I know they are oldschool.

The thing that rustles my jimmies the most are people who disregard a whole genre of music because they have only listened to the crap mainstream of the genre or not at all.

Oh and call of duty players. Seriously, COD has done more harm to the gaming community than pirated games have.

yeah i played 93-98 and dont think i ever saw lands up front lol, but that was a long time ago

I second the land on top thing. A few guys do it at my LGS. I tried it for a minute last Friday, and I didn't like it one bit.

it's not natural i tell you!

Okay seriously fuck the band called Fun.

That's another thing that grinds my gears. All this skinny jean wearing hipster fag rock that is popular right now is pissing me off. You know shit is bad when you start thinking Green Day and Linkin Park a few years ago wasn't so bad. I'd rather have that than this crap at least.

I rock skinny jeans

Something else that grinds my gears is people texting at work while I'm working hard, fucking help me. You go to work to work, not to play around (unless you do porn).

Add Carlos "The Punisher" Quentin to the list

I rock skinny jeans

Something else that grinds my gears is people texting at work while I'm working hard, fucking help me. You go to work to work, not to play around (unless you do porn).

A thousand times this. I understand that in a connected world having your phone is important, but Christ on a bike it's not like it's hard to text "gotta work brb 20 min" or whatever.

Although the professionals in the porn industry work very hard to provide you with quality entertainment, you shouldn't besmirch their jobs by calling it "playing around."

Another mtg related thing

Do not disturb the match, please, just don't.

if someone is trying to think, expect them to be a little pissy when you ask them if brain geyser is banned or not

When someone is trying to brain freeze someone to death after having all 4 of their high tides surgical'd, do not talk to them, your making the match last much longer than it should and annoying their opponent. (for the record, solidarity can do this, it involves drawing 4 turnabouts)

I do not care if this is an fnm or ptq, do not bother people, it's rude, and it's making the round last longer (and thus making everyone stay much later than they have to).

fatties in skinnies

I hate Always On Games, just in general principle. Even with the latest crop of games like SimCity that sound like they really fucked up, I don't think it's gotten too bad as of yet, but the idea of future games that use it even more egregiously just really rustles my jimmies. A few years back, there was that thing where gaming companies were producing games that only the fastest systems could run and it just annoyed the crap out of everyone, and this just seems like it's that version 2.0, making people demand the most reliable internet and fastest transfer speeds just to play a damn game, and punishing you for circumstances largely beyond your control.

Speaking of internet speeds, holy crap local ISP, come on. This is the second year in a row I've had your service and had to just deal with you not getting your shit together when the weather gets slightly inclement. I'm sorry that whoever installed your main pipeline
didn't quite seem to understand the complexity of PVC piping and weather stripping but get that shit figured out!

Yeah, always online DRM is horrible. Wont be buying the next xbox if the rumors are true. I'll just #dealwithit and buy a PS4

People who just stare at you instead of saying "go" or "your turn" or something then they're finished. I can't read your mind, man. I don't know that you're not checking out my fabulous physique. Don't get exasperated with my when I don't take your stare as a turn pass.

Also, watered-down hot sauce at chain restaurants. Especially then they take something amazing like Sriracha sauce and water it down with vinegar because all the hipster derps can't take all the heat in their pad thai. Fuck off.

People say one thing and then do another.

Also, people who believe that just because they have the power to do something means that they should. Didn't anyone watch Jurassic Park???

Oh, and people who have never seen Jurassic Park.

K, now I'm thoroughly pissed. I'm gonna go punch some babies now.

(on a somewhat related topic, in my first post here, I mentioned that subway employees do not understand the meaning of the phrase "extra olives", well imply anyway, I found out that Upscale redneck truck stops in fact do, thanks Buccee's)

I thought of MOAR, YAY

- Suggesting Jace should be unbanned in modern, 4 rlz.
- People who don't pull over when an ambulance is coming
- The birds who build nests in boat house, seriously, I can't even make fun of the fetus that eventually falls out of the egg when I start cleaning.
- Your mother (there I said it)

People who take themselves too seriously.
People who use "lol" in actual conversation.
The Oxford comma.

- People who walk slowy in my front when I'm in a rush
- People who talk to me while I'm in front or behind them
- People who talk too low, not clear or too fast (my hearing is bad, I need to pay attention to understand)

moral corruption

Vexing Devil.

Okay seriously fuck the band called Fun.

Fuck you, that band is awesome.

Maybe you just don't know how to have it.

moral corruption

the concept of morality

And now for my own contributions:
1) Grown adults who whine about having to do their job. Like, literally whine, "I don't want to do this!" all nasally and shit. I just want to punch these people in the fucking face and give them something to whine about!
2) People who go out of their way to be mean. You're not cool for acting like that, you're an asshole.
3) People who act like they're better than you for any reason. I don't care what reason they have, the fact that they act that way means they are NOT better.
4) People who are completely oblivious to the world around them. Like, seriously, I know you see me walking towards you, Mr. Blocking the whole hallway talking to these people. Move your ass!
5) Abusive parents. Mother fucker, you
have no idea how blessed you are to have that child, and neither do you deserve the unconditional love you get!

That's about it for now.

Ah, no, I meant people who show off their food, not their cooking. Like, "I had this for lunch at Olive Garden, doesn't it look sinful!!?11!11!"

Oh, hahaha. Ok then!!

I don't do that, and you're not on my FB, but I still wanted to ask!!

People who haven't read Jurassic Park.

Repeating myself.
Repeating myself.
Repeating myself.

I also hate repeating myself. I try to take care and consider the listener's time constraints when talking, the fact that they don't remember what I just told them sees inherently dismissive.

I also hate repeating myself. I try to take care and consider the listener's time constraints when talking, the fact that they don't remember what I just told them sees inherently dismissive.

Say Something Once Why Say It Again?

It's especially bad in Mafia. It's like YOU CAN LOOK BACK AND READ MY FUCKING POSTS JFC