Dies to Removal

[deck]
4 Monastery Swiftspear
4 Seeker of the Way
2 Ashcloud Phoenix

4 Dragon Mantle
4 Defiant Strike
4 Titan's Strength
4 Ajani's Presence
4 Magma Jet
4 Deflecting Palm

3 Anger of the Gods

4 Battlefield Forge
4 Temple of Triumph
1 Wind-Scarred Crag
2 Plains
12 Mountain
[/deck]

I'm a huge retard who falls in love with cards, and I also fall in love with the way certain cards make people feel. Deflecting Palm seems to really make Green players get really pissed off, so I decided to build a deck around it.

Early on you focus on just playing like a normal aggro deck, running a creature or 2 out and throwing spells at it, but if you don't win that way, you start sighing loudly, and acting like every card you draw is the biggest piece of shit you've ever seen. Eventually your opponent decides to attack into you with an Arbor Collosus or whatever big fatty he's decided to play today, and you cast Deflecting Palm on it. You then proceed to suit it up with [card]Titan's Strength[/card], Defiant Strike, or whatever else you have on hand. Shit, they tried to blow up their own guy? [card]Ajani's Presence[/card] is here to save the day.

For added fun, attach Dragon Mantle to your opponents big dumb fatty, and pump it up for him, like a good guy.

Anger of the Gods is here to clear out all the little shit that you don't want to cast a Palm on. Also good because you can cast a spell before casting Anger, and that makes your Prowess guys have 4 Toughness. Ashcloud Phoenix is here for absolutely no reason, but he's a bird, and he likes to party.

Results, thus farm, from testing with the playgroup:



P.S. You shouldn't play this deck.

You forgot to put Deflecting Palm in the Deflecting Palm deck.

You forgot to put Deflecting Palm in the Deflecting Palm deck.

You also have 16 pump spells in a 10 creature deck and that simply cannot be right.

artistic brilliance

You also have 16 pump spells in a 10 creature deck and that simply cannot be right.

It's fine, I'm sure my opponent will eventually be kind enough to play their own win condition.


Last FNM, a friend of mine played a Butcher of the Horde out against me, so I Deflecting Palmed 2 turns in a row, and then he got all salty and tried to Stoke the Flames me, and I Deflecting Palmed that too. I was at 4 the whole time.

The psychological fear around my LGS has started to make every player question their attacks. They never know when I have the card, or when their next attack for lethal will actually end in their own death.

Guys, guys, I did a thing.

[deck]
4 Monastery Swiftspear
4 Seeker of the Way
4 Goblin Rabblemaster

4 Dragon Mantle
4 Defiant Strike
4 Titan's Strength
4 Ajani's Presence
4 Become Immense
4 Deflecting Palm
1 Mortal's Ardor

4 Battlefield Forge
2 Temple of Triumph
1 Forest
3 Plains
5 Mountain
4 Windswept Heath
4 Wooded Foothills
[/deck]

So, get this...

I made it Naya! We splash 9 green sources, and play Become Immense, and what this does is allows us to do is make our opponent immensely butthurt. The graveyard fills up fast while we are cantripping shit around and Voltroning some little guy, and so, when we really need to Deflecting Palm for the win, we can give an already big guy another 6 on top of it for what is likely to be 1 or 2 mana.

Please have my babies.
You're doing the lord's work

It's the Naya "Fuck you, Fatty!" deck...

Been screwing around with the deck today. Seems to be in need of one more red source. May remove a Plains for a Mountain, or add a Mana Confluence or something.


Think I'm going to take this to FNM this week in secrecy. Just need to figure out how the sideboard is supposed to work.

bless you.

Just remembered that Favored Hoplite is still a thing. Replacing Rabblemaster's with the Hoplite, since it's more in-line with the plan. Hoplite also increases the possibility of a turn 3 kill.

This deck is teh amaze.

Don't forget to make a report from the FNM, I'm curious.

I have yet to actually sleeve it and play it at an FNM. Too busy testing other more serious shit.

[deck]
dudes 11
3 Humble Defector
4 Seeker of the Way
4 Goblin Rabblemaster

pump 14
4 Dragon Mantle
4 Defiant Strike
4 Titan's Strength
2 Ajani's Presence

kill 8
2 Seering Blood
4 Stoke the Flames
2 Wild Slash

lol 5
1 Break Through the Line
4 Deflecting Palm

mana 22
4 Battlefield Forge
4 Temple of Triumph
4 Wind-Scarred Crag
1 Mana Confluence
2 Plains
7 Mountain

the board 15
2 Wild Slash
3 Lightning Strike
3 Glare of Heresy
2 Erase
1 Ashcloud Phoenix
1 Monestary Mentor
1 Abzan Advantage
1 Arcbond
1 Magma Jet
[/deck]

an attempt

What the fuck am I looking at?

The best pile since BBBSG

Please tell me someone has been working on this awesome trollfest in secret.