Dies to Removal

So cards often get nicknames, either player base wide (dark confidant being called bob), or just in your play group (seizan, perverter of truth was called "bob the happy demon" in a group I used to play with). What nicknames do you guys have/want to share?

Examples
ash zealot - ashly
firedrinker satyr - firecrotch satyr
staff of dominance - staff of many things
firefist striker - stinkfist striker
[card]sensei's divining top[/card] - durdle top or time waster
icy manipulator - bonecrank
[card]alladin's ring[/card] - shotgun
patrol hound - wuv muffin
wild mongrel - good dog
[card]psychatog[/
card] - dr. Teeth
shadowmage infiltrator - finkel
curse of the swine -baconator

[card=Hadouken!]Stonewright[/card]

i've heard like 3 of those names in the op and i've been playing magic for close to 15 years.

every card that has the text "destroy all creatures" is wrath.

I'm not going to lie, I made up stinkfist striker and i'm trying to get it to catch on. I've been listening to a lot of Tool lately.

[card=Michael Jordan]Umezawa's Jitte[/card]

Morphling = superman
gobhobbler rats = knobgobbler rats

Surprised no one mentioned Young Pyromancer or Archangel of Thune

i just refer to young pyromancer as "young" which is confusing with the existence of young wolf but they can both be nicknamed young since neither sees any substantial play in formats that exist.

For recent ones, Big Jace means Jace, Memory Adept.

PolyK for Polukranos.

True i don't hear young used for anything other than YP$. i just like making his name sound thuggish and he looks like harry potter's homie.

Chandra, Pyromaster = The Thighs

I call Burning-Tree Emissary, "Emily".

At the LGS I frequent, Thalia, Guardian of Thraben, is called by everyone but me, "whore". I loved hearing their cries of, "THALIA IS A WHORE!" As she single handily shut down their deck long enough for me to kill them.

Thundermaw Hellkite was T-maw or Thunderkitty

Snapcaster Mage was Yo, Snaps! or Ah-snap-ah-casta ah-Maaaaj <-- said with bad "Confucius say..." accent

Gary, Merchant of Asphodel

hahaha i thought that was just out here! Everyone call's him Gary! lol.

Ghost dad! (Obzedat, Ghost Council/Ghost Council of Orzhova)

Thundermaw Hellkite was T-maw or Thunderkitty

I always called him Thunderlips, the Ultimate Male.

Ones I am trying to force, or have tried to force, or at least use myself.
Tarfire = gobbo-shock
Rakdos shred-freak = shredder
Stinkweed imp = stinky
Blood knight = steve
stromkirk noble = swagkirk nibble
scab-clan mauler = master blaster

Unamed abilities or abilty combinations
High Flying = flying and can only block creatures with flying.
Low Flying = can only be blocked by creatures with flying.
Looting = draw then discard
ransacking = discard then draw
Any evasion + can't block = psuedo-shadow

Augur of Bolas was "Scumbag Steve" or just "Steve". From recent ones I've called Polukranos "Pocahontas" a few times. Most other nicknames we have for cards are in Finnish and probably don't make much sense if you don't know the language/culture.

Guess I could explain one iconic card at least. Sometimes Tarmogoyf is referred to as "lähikauppias" (local shopkeeper), because of this. Goyf's name actually comes from Finnish language, as revealed in this article: http://www.wizards.com/magic/magazine/A ... rcana/1421

Sakura tribe elder is the one and only Steve, gtfo

How did I forget about steve as sakura tribe elder, how foolish of me.

DarthStabber your names are the ult worst.

I try. Mostly like to hide things behind layers of obfuscation to inhibit other's understanding. People say communication is about making yourself clear, but sometimes the opposite is fun.

One thing me and some friends do is whenever we have a foil card, some part of its name becomes replaced with 'swag'.
It results in a lot of funny things, like my Boros Swagoner

Knight of meadowswag
arc swagning
swag merchant of asphodel
Swagthos, shrine to nyx
Niv mizzet, swagogenius
Swag-forge mystic (I like this one)

Blood Baron = Xerxes

I always liked "Swagtusk is bringing life to the party and making sure a homie never leaves alone"

Chandra, the mind Sculptor

Gary, the Traveling Salesman(gray merchant).

(m)Ember Swallower

Lash of the Tip

Divination(boros reckoner vs. any creature deck).

Skrillex(MM dark confidant).

"Red Divination" for Reckoner is a personal favourite.

I always liked "Swagtusk is bringing life to the party and making sure a homie never leaves alone"

To quote Hunter S. Thompson, "I'll make a beast out of myself..."