NOW! That's What I Call General Site Blathering, Vol. 2

[Tom Servo]

He got ban service

[Tom Servo]

I love you Tom Servo.

Stranger danger! Stranger danger!

[Kazekirimaru]

I love you Tom Servo.

Stranger danger! Stranger danger!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UgcOL2EQM4

[Second Harkius]

Fully Leveled-Up Video Game Character Marvels At How Far He's Come
News • Science & Technology • technology • ISSUE 49•25 • Jun 19, 2013


WINDHELM, SKYRIM—Having completely filled out his skill tree, obtained every unique item, and successfully completed each quest and subquest within the expansive virtual world of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, fully leveled-up video game character Dagmar Brightbane this week fondly reflected on his substantial accomplishments within the fantasy realm, marveling at just how far he's come.

Speaking with reporters at his lavish and well-stocked manor in the eastern city of Windhelm, the level 252 mage-archer told reporters that he was amazed at all he had seen and accomplished since his humble beginnings as an inexperienced dark elf fresh out of character creation.

“When I look back on what I’ve done since my early days
nearly getting myself killed fighting rats in the Morthal swamps, it’s incredible where I ended up, really,” said Brightbane, who since arriving in Skyrim has accomplished such feats as slaying the fearsome dragon Alduin and being inducted into the Thieves Guild. “Look at me: I’m standing here in a full suit of Daedric armor, upgraded all the way to ‘legendary’ status thanks to my smithing skills. That’s just not something you think is possible when you’re delivering letters around Riverwood for some lousy Ring of Sneaking, unable to get your hands on a magicka potion to save your life.”

“You level up, though,” he continued. “And you learn.”

Brightbane, who has attained every possible character perk and collected each of the 24 Stones of Barenziah, said that such achievements today serve as a reminder of just how wet behind the ears he was when he first arrived to the small hamlet of Helgen as a captive prisoner without a gold piece to his name. The sorcerer reflected with nostalgia on his carefree
days as a low-level dungeon crawler, long before he had used a combination of training, skill books, and “real-world living” to max out his abilities in all magic, combat, and stealth categories.

However, Brightbane emphasized that such advancement didn’t come easily, pointing to long stretches of power leveling that he said were “essential” to his character development. Additionally, the dark elf stressed the importance of the countless hours of trial and error he spent hunting down a particularly valuable silver jeweled necklace of shock suppression, saying this challenge gave him a newfound appreciation for the rewards of hard work, as well as an additional 50 percent resistance against lightning attacks.

Furthermore, the player character emphasized that his considerable efforts have all been worth it in the end, saying that he never in his wildest dreams could have imagined he would one day have the opportunity to defeat the mighty Otar the Mad and ride a horse all across the wide lands of Skyrim
back when “[he] was still poking around in random barrels in hopes of finding an old iron dagger.”

“I was so naive back then,” Brightbane said, recounting how many attempts it took him to kill his first ice wraith, a creature he now routinely one-hits with the help of his formidable two-handed weapons skills and a spellbook that includes dozens of powerful incantations. “I remember how frustrating it was being stuck in the Embershard Mine, never sure if I would ever make it to the temple of High Hrothgar—or if I would even survive at all—but I’m sure glad I stuck with it.”

“I guess my success just goes to show the value of experience,” he continued.

However, Brightbane admitted that, at his advanced level—with the Stormcloak Rebellion ended and the Dark Brotherhood long having been destroyed—his ongoing adventures in the land of Skyrim lately have become somewhat tedious.

“Sure, I’ve got all of the Dragon Priest Masks, and yes, I’m famous enough that every townsperson I come across seems to have
been automatically informed of my latest exploits, but what’s it all worth in the end?” said Brightbane, admitting that lately he has wondered how his life might have turned out had he pursued his interests in necromancy. “Sometimes it feels like I was happier back when I was just exploring the woods around Whiterun and trying to get together a few followers to go after the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller. Things were so much simpler back then.”

“It just seems that I’ve been going around in circles, casting the same enchantments and fighting the same monsters, but I wouldn’t know how to spend my time otherwise,” he added. “Honestly, I don’t even remember what I was doing before I came here.

[( G_R )]

.

[Neo Metal Sonic]

bitch please, I'm the Nerevarine

[iamabadman]

i'm the courier. imma fuck you up

[Kaitscralt]

Just a heads up if you call your deck 'dega' because its wbr then I'm never going to listen to anything you say about mtg again

[Kaitscralt]

I might even put you on ignore

[Pendulum]

I saw a deck called "brw brew" once.

[Pendulum]

I personally thought it was clever but I'm easily entertained so that's no surprise.

[Kaitscralt]

you're a stooge

[Pendulum]

Nyuck Nyuck.

'Course I also thought the deck name "human degapede" was cool.

[Kaitscralt]

fun fact: i didn't know about the gutter until kcw told me about it face-to-face

[Kaitscralt]

This has been your daily segment of To Make a Kait

[Pendulum]

The Gutter did/does play merry hob with the software permissions; the special-view group with no titles were quite the curiosity for me back in the day. It was interesting, about the same time they were shutting it down I was starting to hear about something called Zero-Permit Bots, and it did make me wonder if maybe Ria was concerned about the security risk but didn't want to make it seem like the site was about to get uber-haxxored. The concept of ZPBs was always pretty good, they'd grant themselves special permissions (usually to hidden forums) and were difficult to remove from there (imagine bots ripping through the Ban/Appeal Suspension Subforum, what are you going to do ban them?); they never really took off because they couldn't do near as much damage in a hidden forum as an open one but it was tricksy enough to raise my eyebrow.

[iamabadman]

dead space 2 is epic

[Enizzle]

They gave me the CHOP. Dammit.

[Pendulum]

Yes, that can happen.

[Pendulum]

Fuck Ben. Fuck him so hard.

Edit - DFERP

[Tom Servo]

A whole day to build decks? Yes please.

[Tom Servo]

ass and titties

[iamabadman]

i stained like 3 quarters of my fence today. sunburnt as fuck, gotta finish tomorrow, and a local card place is having a mma draft at 2. then a busy week of work

[Pendulum]

You're staining your fence? What kind of stain are you using?

[imopen2]

What kind of stain are you using?

[iamabadman]

What kind of stain are you using?

a white one :*

[Second Harkius]

This has been your daily segment of To Make a Kait

someone should compile these

[Pendulum]

On it.

[Second Harkius]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oNToCIXD6w

don't listen to a word I say

[DroppinSuga]

Spam-bob Squarepants

[Pendulum]

^^Hella fun song for karaoke, btw, but generally difficult to pull off without getting some drunk chick who doesn't know all the words to sing it with you.

[iamabadman]

you should be trying to bang the drunk chick

[Second Harkius]

you are a true gentleman

[Pendulum]

you should be trying to bang the drunk chick

You don't think "Hey, you've got a great voice, wanna do a duet with me? I'll buy you a round for your help." isn't a good come-on line?

[Second Harkius]

so if you're lonely

you know i'm here waiting for you

i'm just a crosshair

i'm just a shot away from you

[Second Harkius]

i always pick a Modest Mouse song on karaoke since you can botch it and nobody will notice since the lead singer already sounds drunk

[Second Harkius]

WWWWEEEEEAAALLLLLLL

ALLLLLLHHHHHHH

FHLOOOOAAAATTTTTTT

OOOONNNNN

TOOOONIIIIITEEEEEEEE

[Pendulum]

Radiohead or Guided By Voices are also good choices for drunken 'roke.

[Second Harkius]

All the small things....

True care truth brings

[Second Harkius]

first album i ever bought was Blink-182's Enema of the State