Blatherdome 4: My Resignation

[Kazekirimaru]

You fuckstick.

[Dragon of Grondok]

*FIREBALL, BURNING A POST*

[Tom Servo]

It lives!

[Slammu]

The dragon ate the killer bunny. Damn

[Sir Sapphire the 3rd]

this is what happens when someone trys to spam past 109......

[( G_R )]

Slowest page 109 ever...

[iamabadman]

you fucking deleted my gunzerker posts, what the fuck

[iamabadman]

so dragon's crown has a boss called the killer rabbit.

if you don't beat it in time knights come in with bombs and finishes the fight.

i beat the boss before that could happen

that was the original post. now more thought on this.

most, if not all of the b route bosses have a time limit, but in different ways.

a chimera is too big for the first 2 wood floors, and if you dont kill him in time breaks a stone floor and he falls in lava and you dont get the talisman needed to finish the game.

the rabbit which i discussed.

a kraken hits pillars until it floods the cave and you swim out, i havent done this one yet cuz ive been doing side quests.

another i didnt do yet is vs a wraith that if you dont light candles wont let you get a talisman
and a demon lord fight i havent looked up yet

2 boss fights are more mook swarm while you do shit, like closing a cyclops prison while 2 get out and others hold the
door open.
another is defending a cannon from a swarm of goblins and putting cannon balls in it and firing it at a huge iron gate that keeps opening letting in more goblinoids

open has a fight vs a Medusa that you can run but then fight again, and a fight with a red dragon

all to beat a huge ancient dragon

[iamabadman]

copied in case of deletion

[iamabadman]

also you can repeat stages in case you couldnt beat the boss the first time or get more loot

[Second Harkius]

“Knights!” the large king shouted from his throne, “One among you must take on the loathsome Dragon of Grondok, lest our glorious kingdom be overrun with the demonic hordes he serves herald to!”

The Knights of the Round Table sat quietly, timidly, as the king uttered these words. They had never before been asked to take a stand. Surely taking a stand was not the right course of action; after all, the Knights solved most of their issues by sitting around talking about them. They would talk for so long that eventually the issue in question would simply go away. But not today. No, today’s pronouncement about the legendary Dragon of Grondok couldn’t simply be ignored. This creature had befouled the Kingdom of the First Salvation for nearly a year, yet no amount of talking behind closed doors could slay the beast.

In fact, one rumor, spoken only in secret, maintained that the Dragon was once a Knight of the First
Salvation who turned evil and corrupted after being unjustly accused of treachery against the realm. Of course, all official records of this event, whether true or not, had been sealed away forever. Only the king and his closest advisors knew the truth, though their pride prevented them from ever telling their subjects.

The first signs of trouble began when shady characters began to infiltrate the court. Some confronted the king and his knights directly, and gleefully baited them into ridiculous debates designed to tarnish the court's impeccable honor. When the king ordered these characters reveal their identities, they simply vanished. No trace of their presence remained, forcing the king and his advisors to fruitlessly guess at their identities. As a result, many in the kingdom were burned at the stake as traitors despite their clear innocence. When confronted with proof of their innocence, the king merely looked away, deciding to himself that their accusations alone were proof of their guilt.

n “I have heard the appeals of liars in the past! Therefore anyone who appeals must be a liar!” the king roared. While many in court found this statement to be untrue, their blind allegiance to his rule prevented them from speaking up. Thus, the king ruled with his tiny cabal of advisors for years, until the Dragon began to strike in force.

One cloudy day - as every day in the realm of the First Salvation was slightly overcast - the Dragon swooped down and captured Lady Rabosi, one of the most outspoken members of the court. One brave Knight tried to save her though his halfhearted attempt was met with failure. As the damsel was carried off into the night, some villagers could faintly hear her yell, “Someone stay angry for me! Always stay angry!” Of course, the villagers had no idea what she meant by this. Her speech was too far removed from the common Salvation citizen for them to ever truly understand. Only the Knights in the castle and the king knew her meaning, for the inner court was always
angry, fueled by an impotent rage that comes with having heated discussions behind castle doors for years on end.

And so the king needed a champion to fight the beastly Dragon. He looked around his court frantically. Most of his Knights had been exiled over the years due to slights, real or imagined. The only Knights who remained were bureaucrats, hardly able to hold their own in a public meeting with the commoners, much less a shield and sword. Perhaps the king could call upon an outspoken villager to fight the monster, though the prospect shook him to his core: the villagers could not be trusted. The king had always believed himself to be their parental figure, gently guiding their decisions, as surely the villagers could not reason for themselves. The King was distraught; he needed to save Lady Rabosi! She was the only person keeping the castle from returning to Sausage Fest, a yearly festival that was abandoned after Lady Rabosi convinced the court that it was costing too much gold from the
treasury.

“I will fight the Dragon! I know his tactics for I once used them myself,” a voice echoed through the court. The king turned to see one of his knights, the once disgraced Zenphos, standing up in the corner.

“Zenphos, of what do you speak?” the king stammered.

“When I was exiled from this kingdom many years ago by a former king, I used disguises to hide in plain sight. This Dragon is crafty and malicious; he will not fight you face to face. I believe that all of these recent encounters with court infiltrators are the work of the Dragon!”

The court gasped in shock. They assumed that they had been conversing with the agents of the dragon, but not the dragon himself! The white knight who valiantly tried to save Lady Rabosi fainted on the spot. The king and his court would have grown deathly silent, had they not all collectively voided their bowels at once in mortal terror.

“Yes! Yes! You spurned me, tarnished my name, and destroyed my clan!” came a foreign voice
from the shadows of the hall, “It is I, the Dragon of Grondok, the knight once known as Marios! You exiled me out of pettiness so now I repay in kind!”

Zenphos knew that this was his time to shine. This was how he could regain his prestigious position in court. He charged the hooded figure, hoping to slay the Dragon before it could morph back into its winged form. Yet as he charged, he slipped on the feces now covering the hall floor, knocking himself unconscious in the process.

“That’s right!” said the Dragon, “You turned this kingdom to shit, now in shit you stand! You cannot defeat me!”

By now, each member of the court was shaken to their very core. All of a sudden, they rose in unison. Perhaps now was their time to strike as one? Yet the Dragon knew their true intent, and the court quickly rushed behind closed doors to discuss what to do, abandoning the unconscious Zenphos in the process. In truth, these remaining court members cared little for each other, as they had stood quietly
by and let member after member of their ranks get exiled in the past.

The Dragon watched them flee in fear. He put in his hood, sadly shook his head at the shit covered hall – once a golden palace of bravery – and walked out the door. He’d be back.

[Sir Sapphire the 3rd]

http://didyouknowgaming.com/post/60003254674/doom

[Blackhound]

“Knights!” the large king shouted from his throne, “One among you must take on the loathsome Dragon of Grondok, lest our glorious kingdom be overrun with the demonic hordes he serves herald to!”

The Knights of the Round Table sat quietly, timidly, as the king uttered these words. They had never before been asked to take a stand. Surely taking a stand was not the right course of action; after all, the Knights solved most of their issues by sitting around talking about them. They would talk for so long that eventually the issue in question would simply go away. But not today. No, today’s pronouncement about the legendary Dragon of Grondok couldn’t simply be ignored. This creature had befouled the Kingdom of the First Salvation for nearly a year, yet no
amount of talking behind closed doors could slay the beast.

In fact, one rumor, spoken only in secret, maintained that the Dragon was once a Knight of the First Salvation who turned evil and corrupted after being unjustly accused of treachery against the realm. Of course, all official records of this event, whether true or not, had been sealed away forever. Only the king and his closest advisors knew the truth, though their pride prevented them from ever telling their subjects.

The first signs of trouble began when shady characters began to infiltrate the court. Some confronted the king and his knights directly, and gleefully baited them into ridiculous debates designed to tarnish the court's impeccable honor. When the king ordered these characters reveal their identities, they simply vanished. No trace of their presence remained, forcing the king and his advisors to fruitlessly guess at their identities. As a result, many in the kingdom were burned at the stake as traitors despite their
clear innocence. When confronted with proof of their innocence, the king merely looked away, deciding to himself that their accusations alone were proof of their guilt.

“I have heard the appeals of liars in the past! Therefore anyone who appeals must be a liar!” the king roared. While many in court found this statement to be untrue, their blind allegiance to his rule prevented them from speaking up. Thus, the king ruled with his tiny cabal of advisors for years, until the Dragon began to strike in force.

One cloudy day - as every day in the realm of the First Salvation was slightly overcast - the Dragon swooped down and captured Lady Rabosi, one of the most outspoken members of the court. One brave Knight tried to save her though his halfhearted attempt was met with failure. As the damsel was carried off into the night, some villagers could faintly hear her yell, “Someone stay angry for me! Always stay angry!” Of course, the villagers had no idea what she meant by this. Her speech was too far
removed from the common Salvation citizen for them to ever truly understand. Only the Knights in the castle and the king knew her meaning, for the inner court was always angry, fueled by an impotent rage that comes with having heated discussions behind castle doors for years on end.

And so the king needed a champion to fight the beastly Dragon. He looked around his court frantically. Most of his Knights had been exiled over the years due to slights, real or imagined. The only Knights who remained were bureaucrats, hardly able to hold their own in a public meeting with the commoners, much less a shield and sword. Perhaps the king could call upon an outspoken villager to fight the monster, though the prospect shook him to his core: the villagers could not be trusted. The king had always believed himself to be their parental figure, gently guiding their decisions, as surely the villagers could not reason for themselves. The King was distraught; he needed to save Lady Rabosi! She was the only person
keeping the castle from returning to Sausage Fest, a yearly festival that was abandoned after Lady Rabosi convinced the court that it was costing too much gold from the treasury.

“I will fight the Dragon! I know his tactics for I once used them myself,” a voice echoed through the court. The king turned to see one of his knights, the once disgraced Zenphos, standing up in the corner.

“Zenphos, of what do you speak?” the king stammered.

“When I was exiled from this kingdom many years ago by a former king, I used disguises to hide in plain sight. This Dragon is crafty and malicious; he will not fight you face to face. I believe that all of these recent encounters with court infiltrators are the work of the Dragon!”

The court gasped in shock. They assumed that they had been conversing with the agents of the dragon, but not the dragon himself! The white knight who valiantly tried to save Lady Rabosi fainted on the spot. The king and his court would have grown deathly silent, had they
not all collectively voided their bowels at once in mortal terror.

“Yes! Yes! You spurned me, tarnished my name, and destroyed my clan!” came a foreign voice from the shadows of the hall, “It is I, the Dragon of Grondok, the knight once known as Marios! You exiled me out of pettiness so now I repay in kind!”

Zenphos knew that this was his time to shine. This was how he could regain his prestigious position in court. He charged the hooded figure, hoping to slay the Dragon before it could morph back into its winged form. Yet as he charged, he slipped on the feces now covering the hall floor, knocking himself unconscious in the process.

“That’s right!” said the Dragon, “You turned this kingdom to shit, now in shit you stand! You cannot defeat me!”

By now, each member of the court was shaken to their very core. All of a sudden, they rose in unison. Perhaps now was their time to strike as one? Yet the Dragon knew their true intent, and the court quickly rushed behind closed doors to
discuss what to do, abandoning the unconscious Zenphos in the process. In truth, these remaining court members cared little for each other, as they had stood quietly by and let member after member of their ranks get exiled in the past.

The Dragon watched them flee in fear. He put in his hood, sadly shook his head at the shit covered hall – once a golden palace of bravery – and walked out the door. He’d be back.

Nah, because Gutter.

[Dragon of Grondok]

HAHAHAHA!! A VALIANT EFFORT, BUT YOU SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN PENDOLO'S NAME.

*BALL OF FIRE BURNS ONE MORE POST*

[iamabadman]

fuck you madding just fucking tell me to stop posting you cunt

[Slammu]

fuck you madding just fucking tell me to stop posting you cunt

I believe the ball of fire was your warning.

[Sir Sapphire the 3rd]

HAHAHAHA!! A VALIANT EFFORT, BUT YOU SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN PENDOLO'S NAME.

*BALL OF FIRE BURNS ONE MORE POST*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTq29h9tYZY

[iamabadman]

fuck you madding just fucking tell me to stop posting you cunt

I believe the ball of fire was your warning.

I BELIEVE YOU SHOULD BE ROCKING ONE OF THESE AS AN AVATAR YOU FUCKING COMMIE CUNT

https://www.google.com/search?q=slammu& ... 00&bih=775

[Slammu]

"Ugh. I fucking hate it when people use the word "rape" to describe anything that isn't rape because it shows a total lack of perspective. For example, George Lucas didn't rape anyone's childhood; he made some movies that really disappointed a lot of people. Roman Polanski, however, did rape someone's childhood."

LOL. Classic

[iamabadman]

SLAMMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[Slammu]

Careful. Your post is going to get fireballed.

[iamabadman]

careful im going to SHAAAAAAAAAARK ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK


JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWESOMEEEEE

[iamabadman]

WE HAVE RUSSIAN SPAM BOTS MAN THE STATIONS

[Kazekirimaru]

Someone call the low-orbiting laser and vaporize that bot.

[iamabadman]

MARIO GIVE ME SPAMBOT KILLING POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS

[Tom Servo]

Did someone say LOIC?

[Kazekirimaru]

Did someone say LOIC?

>.>

<.<

[Kazekirimaru]

Most appreciated.

[Dragon of Grondok]

THAT SPAMBOT WAS DELICIOUS!

*BURPS OUT A PUFF OF SMOKE*

[Dragon of Grondok]

TIME RUNS OUT! KEEP ON TYPING!

[Mcdonalds]

Time keeps on slippin, slippin, into the future.

[Pendulum]

Pendelo dropped the heavy sack of worries on the floor of his hut. It landed with a squishy sound he tried not to be disgusted at. It struck him, as it always did, how different he was from those who filled his sack... they generally were more than happy to shit wherever they were, even on their food, and he pondered how disparate the idea of knighthood was from the reality. In truth, he was nothing but a babysitter, a garbageman; he knew more swinging a mop than a sword.
He turned, eyes rolling slowly towards the dragon, letting out a sigh of exhaustion as he did so. The dragon was laughing maniacally, seemingly at something it found eternally funny, billows of smoke erupting from its maw. Pendelos shrugged.
The dragon turned towards him. “Ha ha!” it said, a wave of rotted fish smell hitting him with the force of a thousand fireballs. “I have come to destroy all that was, and all that would be! Behold, I have
held captive the one you call damsel, Rabosi, just to let you watch as I burn her and her world to the ground! Tremble, knight, as I cast my flames to the whole of your world!”
Pendelo cast a glance over the dragon's shoulder. “She mus' be in za tower, zen? With all za oders you seek to destroy?” He said with a sexy Spanish accent.
“Indeed!” growled the dragon. “She and her world with burn!”
Pendelo sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping. “An' how, exactly, will a fat fuck like you get in through dat tiny gate?”
“The fires of my rage will burn through all!” Screamed the dragon.
Pendelo resisted the urge to facepalm. “Your flames will burn through granite, eh?”
“I will turn the whole world to slag!” The dragon let out an epic howl of rage and flame, aimed to the sky.
“No, dar'gon, no,” Pendelo said. “Your rage will not win you dis day. Here, I have brought you the gift.” He pulled a large object out of the sack of worries he always carried.
“What is THAT!?” Yelled the dragon,
his reptilian eyes glowing with greed and pride.
“It is, how you say, a bomb.” The object, so small, beeped quietly against the din of the dragon's anger. It was wrapped in a shell of pure gold, and sparkled with the reflection of the magma pools that were a feature of the arid lands.
“A bomb! That is lunacy!”
“I did'a know that sanity was a prerequisite for da trophy.” Pendelo said, quizzically.
“You will be blown up! The tower will be blown up!”
Pendelo smirked. “Da tower is empty. They learned to dig, you see. Beneath the tower there are catacombs. Beneath the catacombs dere are caves. Beneath the caves dere are pools, connected to lakes. Dey are miles from here. As for me? I did'a know my survival was a prerequisite for da trophy.”
The dragon grabbed for the bomb. Pendelo barely flinched as the great thing's claw swiped it out of his hands. It reached back to throw the thing far away, but Pendelo interrupted.
“Can I ask one thing, dar'gon? Da one thing I can no understand is
how you never learned that giving is the key to victory. Why?”
The dragon turned its massive eye to the small figure standing on the packed earth.
The gift gave one final beep, then silence.
Then fire engulfed the world.

Pendelos lifted one charred eyelid. It appeared to be night now. By the glow of the magma pools, he glanced around, stood up painfully. He walked to where the dragon still lay; apparently the blast of the bomb had carried him quite a distance. He came upon it, looked it over: the poor thing had been horribly mangled by the blast. Its wings were simply gone, it's arm and most of its chest were nothing but a gaping wound of ripped hide and sinew.
It was awake. The thing followed his movements with its single working eye.
Finally, it spoke to him. “Does... does the tower yet stand?”
Pendelo glanced over his shoulder. “It does. Dere is some soot, but the rains will wash that away with time.”
The dragon let out a sigh of steam and pain. “I have failed.”
Pendelo smirked.
“Not entirely, dar'gon. Oders will hear of our efforts, and approve of dem. Eventually, one of those who live near da levee will know what must be done. Their end will come not by da fire, but by da flood.”
The dragon let out another sigh. “I am in great pain. I will die soon. You can have your fucking trophy.”
“Dat is up to you, dar'gon. You are a beast of great strength, and you will live if you want. I have seen you take worse.”
The dragon turned its great eye on him. “What the fuck are you doing, anyway? I am a scourge, why are you talking to me instead of stepping on my brain, ending me?”
Pendelo smiled wryly. “Da funny thing is I don't know. Perhaps I'm just a softy? I do love traditions a bit too much.”
The dragon smiled. It turned its attention to the sky. Suddenly, it spoke. “You are truly fucked up in the head, you know that? You need to like, see a specialist or something.”
“Well,” Pendelo said, “I guess it would take one to know one.”
Their mutual laughter at
themselves rang through the night sky, joining the symphony of gurgles and crickets that were the constant companion of all who traveled there.
The dragon, struggling now, gazed at the stars. “Do I die now? Is this the end?”
Pendelo was silent. He turned his attention upwards to the stars as well. Finally, he spoke. “Does it matter? It's been fun whether or not this is da end of da dar'gon.” He said. He smiled.

The end?

[Dragon of Grondok]

I GUESS PORTUGUESIZED/HISPANICIZED NAMES ARE HARD FOR YOU PALTRY GRINGOS...

FOR YOUR EFFORT, I'LL GIVE YOU A BURNT SCALP.

*VOMITS FIRE ON TOP OF PENDULUM*

[HowlingMad]

Happy birthday Talore!

[Sir Sapphire the 3rd]

Talore doesn't come around here anymore.

[( G_R )]

Well, he doesn't log on anymore...

[Dragon of Grondok]

TIME IS ALMOST UP!!

*BALLS OF FLAME EVERYWHERE, ANOTHER POST IS CONSUMED*

[Sir Sapphire the 3rd]

Anyone who misses the old Megaman games check this shit out: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mig ... ighty-no-9

[Dragon of Grondok]

YOU PEOPLE NEED TO TRY HARDER, AS UNINTUITIVE AS IT SOUNDS. UNTIL NEXT TIME...

[( G_R )]