[Fedoras of Salvation] - White Knights ITT

[Kazekirimaru]

The sexual auras in this thread are enough to drive a lesser mage to insanity.

[Kazekirimaru]

Luckily I'm newly married so I'm getting more than all of you combined.

[Kazekirimaru]

Except maybe thirst. But he practically never stops.

[rcwraspy]

Even when he stops he hasn't stopped. Thus is the might and magic of the member.

[hamfactorial]

With a dick as omnipresent as his, it's bound to be in one woman or another even while he's not actively paying attention to it.

[Kazekirimaru]

I hear it's not uncommon for it to pass directly through one female's orifice and out another, only to continue on to another female. Much like shish-kabob.

[redthirst]

I hear it's not uncommon for it to pass directly through one female's orifice and out another, only to continue on to another female. Much like shish-kabob.

Yup. You haven't lived until you've DPed some girl by yourself.

[hamfactorial]

I hear it's not uncommon for it to pass directly through one female's orifice and out another, only to continue on to another female. Much like shish-kabob.

Yup. You haven't lived until you've DPed some girl by yourself.

[Link]

gets passed voice 3'd pick

Wait

what.

[Kazekirimaru]

I hear it's not uncommon for it to pass directly through one female's orifice and out another, only to continue on to another female. Much like shish-kabob.

Yup. You haven't lived until you've DPed some girl by yourself.

Behold the Power of Destruction

[redthirst]

gets passed voice 3'd pick

Wait

what.

That's the part of the thread that doesn't make sense to you, huh?

[Link]

I've given up trying to understand the sheer power and girth of your deck, red, so yeah.

[hamfactorial]

Seriously Fate, we've moved past the Magic content portion of the evening.

[hamfactorial]

The flavor text on Mercurial Chemister is actually referring to redthirst's dick dimensions.

[rcwraspy]

The flavor text on Mercurial Chemister is actually referring to redthirst's dick dimensions.

I LOVE finding appropriate flavor text.

But now that we're saying "flavor" in the same couple of sentences as "redthirst's dick" I'm feeling a bit odd.

no homo.

[TubeHunter]

I'm actually the head of a new movie about redthirst's dick.

Plot synopsis: After several women get murdered in horrific fashion, police detective Dave Krane is put to the test in finding the killer before things get worse. Things get crazy when a mysterious person contacts him on the computer telling him that they have a link to the killer through an internet cult. Krane must get to the bottom of this before time runs out.

Trailer
Scene: An alley way
A woman is walking though, when a rumbling noise makes her turn around. Something off camera makes her start running. As the camera cuts away, a scream can be heard.

Cut to a normal police building. A normal male (early 20s Name: Dave) walks in
Dave: What happened?
Officer 2: You know
Dave: Not again!
Pans to shots of the women and other bodies in the morgue: Woman from the first scene's mouth is impossibly wide open. (voiceover plays)
VO: 5 women, all in the
same week, all dead to the same damn thing.(shows close up of girl's face when this sentence is said.) What could it be?

Cut to Dave's house, as he enters it. he gets on the computer.
He checks his email when he sees a weird message(zoom in)
I know about the murders
Dave's eyes widen, and he clicks it to find an audio file:
UNKNOWN: I know who your killer is. He is part of a cult called the Fires of salvation.. His name is redthirst. good luck.

Cut to some shots of nature. while Dave talks
Dave: I've checked out this "Fires" group, and they have members all over the US, but no mention of this redthrist guy...
Person2: So are you gonna give it up?
Dave: (Pause) No... It's the only lead I've got.

Cut to dave knocking a door.
Kazekirimaru answers
Dave: Are you username Kazekirimaru of the Fires of salvation?
Kaze: (looks pale) Uh yeah, sure. Why?
Dave: I just want to ask a few questions..

Cut to Dave staring out the window as the camera look through it to kaze sitting on
a chair.
Dave: So, where is redthirst?
Kaze: I told you, I can't tell you! (Reaches down for somthing below the chair.)
(Gunshot, then music starts)

This summer..

(action montage)

It's coming...

(more montage, then clip of Dave pointing a gun at someone)
Dave: WHERE IS HE!
(rumbling shakes the screen, and Dave lowers his gun. Pans over to reveal Ham as the other person)
Ham: (laughs) Looks like he's already here

(rapid montage as the music gets towards the climax, and when it reaches the climax: title screen)

Thirst for Salvation

Shot of dave on the ground
Dave: You won't get away with this....

Unknown (redthirst): I already have.


Coming august 21
End




You're Welcome

[hamfactorial]

I'd see that movie. Can you get Joseph Gordon-Levitt to play me?

[hamfactorial]

And Paul Hogan to play Z.

[Khaospawn]

Can Heath Ledger play me?

Oh wait...

edit: btw, Tube, it's been about 5 minutes and I'm still fucking laughing.

[hamfactorial]

You wanna know how I got these Scars of Mirrodin rares?

[Khaospawn]

You wanna know how I got these Scars of Mirrodin rares?

You remind me of my father. I HATE MY FATHER!

[Khaospawn]

Paul Hogan as Z: You call that a crank? Now that's a crank.

[zemanjaski]

Or is it still not labeled?

I have a girlfriend in every sense but having out a label on it.

[RedNihilist]

"They have members all over the US"?
Maybe you meant "they have a member all over the US"

[Helios]

"They have members all over the US"?
Maybe you meant "they have a member all over the US"

Well we each have a member, and red's member spans multiple states, so both really.

[lorddax]

Titles and taglines of the redthirst movie...


Thirst - Come get it.

Stamped - Every man leaves a mark on the world, the greats leave a stamp.

The Fires of Salvation - Ask not for whom the pole trolls.

Whispers of Fire - Far more than just the tip

Totem Pole - We all have gods of worship, few are gods of worship.

Holey Ghost - The spirit comes from within.

The Red Dream - Everything dies to REM oral.

[Dodger]

First of all great post Khaos, that was some moving shit.

Speaking of shit, I went to drop trou at work, get done and go to flush, and nothing. Turns out the accountant hadn't paid the water bill. That wasn't fun.

Also I'm about a week into the Ham challenge and when my girl comes over tonight I think it will push her through the ceiling with the man juice I've got saved up.

[hamfactorial]

Pew pew! Get her, Dodger.

[Khaospawn]

That remind me of Scary Movie...

[zemanjaski]

That was my first thought as well.

[Dodger]

That's where I got the thought from

[Khaospawn]

Does this shirt make me look gay? How bout now?

[hamfactorial]

Know how I know you're gay?

[Khaospawn]

Now you smell my finger.

[Solemn10]

Nice one tube, but I feel left out

[hamfactorial]

I think we all know what kind of tubes he's hunting ifyouknowwhatimean.

[redthirst]

Love you guys.

Extra homo.

[zemanjaski]

+1

[Khaospawn]

+1/+1

[redthirst]

Also, it's a lot harder than you might imagine to try and explain to your girlfriend that you're laughing because the online Magic club you're a member of wrote a movie trailer about how big your cock is.

That caused a lot more questions than it answered...