[Fedoras of Salvation] - White Knights ITT

[redthirst]

Well done Kaze - that should fortify you in no time.

[redthirst]

Is there any one at SCG that you actually like Alex?

Probably himself.


Maybe.

[Alex]

He's another professional player that doesn't believe that he has to playtest before he runs his mouth. Many of his unedited articles are just completely full of nonsensical bile based on absolutely no factual evidence. Even some of the post-edit stuff that gets posted is like that.

It isn't even real theorycraft, it's just "I think this is bad because I'm Cedric Phillips and you're going to believe me because they pay me to make you believe me."

Example: This article from back in January where he says that Hellion Crucible and Stonewright are both bad in mono red, and that Rogue's Passage is somehow "great tech for the deck." In the facebook comments you'll even find Lauphiette grilling him for being an idiot, but he sticks with his guns. A few weeks after this, he's forced
to eat his words when Stonewright turns up to be the best card in the list, and that Hellion Crucible is a 3of in most of the placing mono red lists. Oops.

[Alex]

Is there any one at SCG that you actually like Alex?

Yes, absolutely. Patrick Chapin, Gerry Thompson, Sam Black, Tom Martell, (even if I think Tom is a douche the guy at least knows how to play/write.) and usually even Brad Nelson.

Basically everyone that isn't Todd Anderson, Mike Flores, and Cedric Phillips.

Keep in mind that a lot of my bias is based on their ability to write a coherent sentence. I get to see the unedited versions of a lot of these articles, so what YOU see and what I see are way different, especially when I get my hands on articles
full of bad information. I believe in quality control.

[rcwraspy]

^ guaranteed to purge your stomach as well?

If you can stomach it, it'll make you feel better - if you can't, you'll throw up and feel better anyway.

Of course, 2 Aspirin, a Gatorade, and a meal will make you feel better too, but that's way more work and way less epic.

That was...not as bad as I thought. Reminds me of Texas Thunder. I think I can feel my Y chromosomes flexing.

Kaze, congratulations! Looking forward to the next couple days?

I really like what someone else said- plan things out beforehand, then simply don't make stupid mistakes on the day of. They really will be paying most of their attention to her, not you. AND EAT YOUR FOOD! You'll feel pressured to get up all the time and thank people but be up, then sit down when a course comes, eat it, then get up again until the next course comes.

Aye, I hear you. I just realized I need paper plates. That would have been a disaster. I'll try to keep the stupid mistakes to a minimum.

And as far as meals go, the wedding is outdoors and so is the reception. I couldn't really afford a snazzy reception, so it's more of a potluck cookout. I hear there's going
to be bacon corn.

Bacon Corn? Whaaa...? That sounds AMAZING!

Oh and pro tip. You may feel that the best time to give out your groomsmen presents and do the cigar/whiskey thing is during the dancing, but try to do it another time. My wife still holds it against me that I missed a few slow dances with her (even though I was there for the majority of them).

[redthirst]

That article was pretty rough and I remember LP linking us to it so we could all bask in the retardation.

[Kazekirimaru]

Well done Kaze - that should fortify you in no time.

Appreciate the drink suggestion.

[redthirst]

Feeling better yet?

[Link]

I mean I was pretty bored at work and would've read anything, but I don't think Ced is anywhere near as bad as Mike Flores to be honest. And like Vala said bad opinions, as long as you don't take them to heart, have their own uses.

[rcwraspy]

In the comments to that article Ari Lax makes an appearance and tells Cedric that he'd rather cut Thundermaw than Stonewright. Love it.

[Alex]

In the comments to that article Ari Lax makes an appearance and tells Cedric that he'd rather cut Thundermaw than Stonewright. Love it.

That's because Ari Lax knows how to play this game. Not only that, but if you read the article, Cedric rips on Ari's list.

[Khaospawn]

I remember that article. I believe I commented on it too. That was the turning point for me in realizing that some of the "pros" are no better than the people we flame on Sally.

[Link]

link to said article and ari lax being a boss?

[redthirst]

Sure. It's in post 4763.

[zemanjaski]

Just another reason that Michael Jacob is the only pro I bother to interact with.

[Valdarith]

He's another professional player that doesn't believe that he has to playtest before he runs his mouth. Many of his unedited articles are just completely full of nonsensical bile based on absolutely no factual evidence. Even some of the post-edit stuff that gets posted is like that.

It isn't even real theorycraft, it's just "I think this is bad because I'm Cedric Phillips and you're going to believe me because they pay me to make you believe me."

Example: This article from back in January where he says that Hellion Crucible and Stonewright are both bad in mono red, and that Rogue's Passage is somehow "great tech for
the deck." In the facebook comments you'll even find Lauphiette grilling him for being an idiot, but he sticks with his guns. A few weeks after this, he's forced to eat his words when Stonewright turns up to be the best card in the list, and that Hellion Crucible is a 3of in most of the placing mono red lists. Oops.

This is a fair assessment. I always think back to that article with thinking of Cedric giving red-based advice. He's a decent player (read: better at playing Magic than I am) but I get the feeling he doesn't quite understand red-based strategy all too well. This is somewhat excusable to me as a lot of nonred players fall into the same kind of traps that Cedric does when discussing red decks, but since many players in the community hang onto whatever comes out of his mouth, he has to realize that he must be extremely careful about what he says when talking about a deck that is out of his realm of expertice.

[Kazekirimaru]

Feeling better yet?

I do. The edge is off.

[redthirst]

Feeling better yet?

I do. The edge is off.

I was starting to think I had killed you...

[Platypus]

like I said Idk much about modern. What early defenders/walls go down that deserve removal? and if those are your only weakness, you got 7 flex slots in the SB for dismember/w/e.

Spellskite. And that's reason enough to warrant removal in most cases.

That, and Tarmogoyf, which can be pretty big when it hits the table (or big enough to take down any of the creatures in the deck discussed). Dismember is a one mana removal spell that takes down a 4/5 Tarmogoyf or a bigger one when coupled with an attacker. It might be enough to have a few in
the SB though.

[Kazekirimaru]

Bacon Corn? Whaaa...? That sounds AMAZING!

Oh and pro tip. You may feel that the best time to give out your groomsmen presents and do the cigar/whiskey thing is during the dancing, but try to do it another time. My wife still holds it against me that I missed a few slow dances with her (even though I was there for the majority of them).

It is. :3

Yeah, all that will be saved for later. Likely at the seeing-people-off part.

[Kazekirimaru]

Feeling better yet?

I do. The edge is off.

I was starting to think I had killed you...

Oh, so that was more an experimental remedy? Thanks for the warning.

[redthirst]

Nah... it's worked for me fine, but I don't think I've ever suggested it to anyone else.

It was possible that it might kill anyone less manly than myself.

[Alex]

I remember that article. I believe I commented on it too. That was the turning point for me in realizing that some of the "pros" are no better than the people we flame on Sally.

Ding ding ding!

There are very few exceptions to this rule. I won't post any names, but what I will say is that a vast majority of them play for Channel Fireball. Patrick Chapin is likely the only one that doesn't.

[Kazekirimaru]

Nah... it's worked for me fine, but I don't think I've ever suggested it to anyone else.

It was possible that it might kill anyone less manly than myself.

It seems I survived the manliness test. Then again, I did use cage-free brown eggs...

[hamfactorial]

I'm taking a day off of work to get over a nasty sinus cold. Bleh!

I feel like playing some magic, I'm heading over to the burn thread to see if it looks more fun than upgraded Dos Rakis.

[redthirst]

Sinus cold, eh?

1 raw egg
1 shot bourbon
black pepper

[Kazekirimaru]

So...anyone seen Dane lately?

[redthirst]

So...anyone seen Dane lately?

Last time he posted: 4/10
Last time he visited: 4/25

No clue what the fuck happened.

[Platypus]

1) Probably right on the land count. 18 feels better.
2) Lava Spike is there to increase the number of possible pathways for a turn 3 kill. I do like the idea of Dismember though and I'd probably remove Mutagenic Growth for 2-3 of them.
3) The problem I have with Rancor is that it opens you up to 2-for-1s and we often won't have time to cast it. We want to kill as quickly as possible and Rancor only slows down the tempo since we're not playing a dude instead. At least with Mutagenic Growth we can cast it at the cost of life and not mana.
4) Again, Cackler to increase the number of possibilities for a turn 3 kill.

I definitely want Deathrite Shaman and Dismember in the deck, but removing Mutagenic Growth makes a turn three kill much less likely. That said, it
would also increase the deck's consistency in the mid to late game, so how about:

[deck]
Creatures (32)
4 Experiment One
4 Kird Ape
4 Goblin Guide
3 Rakdos Cackler
2 Deathrite Shaman
4 Spike Jester
4 Jund Hackblade
4 Burning-Tree Emissary
3 Flinthoof Boar

Spells (10)
3 Dismember
4 Lightning Bolt
3 Lava Spike

Lands (18)
4 Arid Mesa
4 Scalding Tarn
2 Verdant Catacomb
4 Blood Crypt
4 Stomping Ground

Sideboard (15)
4 Tin Street Hooligan
4 Inquisition of Kozilek
7 Flex slots
[/deck]

Some examples of strong starts:
1) T1: play or fetch Stomping Ground, cast Experiment One. T2: play or fetch Blood Crypt, cast Goblin Guide, cast Kird Ape, swing 5, T3: play or fetch any land, cast BTE, cast Jund Hackblade, Bolt or Spike for 3, swing 10, opponent at two before turn four (and quite possibly dead if playing fetches and shocks).

You can see why I had Mutagenic Growth in the deck now.

2) T1:
play or fetch Stomping Ground, cast Rakdos Cackler or Kird Ape. T2: play or fetch Blood Crypt, cast BTE, cast Jund Hackblade, swing 5. T3: play or fetch any land, cast Spike Jester, Bolt or Spike for 3, swing 10, opponent at two before turn four.

There's so many different combinations for explosive starts in this deck. The more I think about it, the more we really want three land on turn three, so 19 might be a better number for land. I'd remove one Flinthoof Boar for a land in that case since he's the least valuable creature in the deck.

EDIT: maybe Lava Spike should be Searing Blaze instead...

Ok, when looking at those possible turn 1-3 plays, I can certainly see why you want those Mutagenic Growths and Lava Spikes. My main issue with Lava Spike is that it can't be used as removal when necessary, which is why I like those Dismembers. But the other options aren't very good. The other 3-for-1 spells used in burn are Shard Volley and Rift Bolt. Rift Bolt is probably too slow and
Shard Volley might backfire with so few lands. So yeah, Lava Spike might be the best alternative for a higher possibility of a turn 3 kill. Searing Blaze is great, but slower.

Dismembers could be in the SB though.

If I run this deck, I have to skip the Deathrite Shamans though. I don't have them. So, how about this deck:

[deck]
Creatures (32)
4 Experiment One
4 Kird Ape
4 Goblin Guide
4 Rakdos Cackler
4 Tattermunge Maniac
4 Spike Jester
4 Jund Hackblade
4 Burning-Tree Emissary

Spells (10)
3 Mutagenic Growth
4 Lightning Bolt
3 Lava Spike

Lands (18)
4 Arid Mesa
4 Scalding Tarn
2 Verdant Catacomb
4 Blood Crypt
4 Stomping Ground

Sideboard (15)
4 Tin Street Hooligan
4 Inquisition of Kozilek
3 Dismember
4 Flex slots
[/deck]

Tattermunge Maniac is another 1 drop with 2 power that's also multicolored to help Jund Hackblade.

Perhaps we should take this discussion to the deck brewing thread?

[Platypus]

This is definitely the kind of build I'd like to play (is there any glaring reason to play straight Gruul Zoo over this? Hackblade looks tech as hell) if I got into it though, $45 fetches are a still being a pretty good deterrent >.>

Well, Gruul Zoo has a more consistent manabase, and with Stomping Grounds and Copperline Gorges you can probably manage with less fetches than might be optimal in the RGB deck. Gruul also has Ghor-Clan Rampagers, which would be less useful here.

[redthirst]

BTE -> Jund Hackblade is lulz-worthy.

[Khaospawn]

So...anyone seen Dane lately?

Last time he posted: 4/10
Last time he visited: 4/25

No clue what the fuck happened.

It is highly possible that he saw one of the pictures of your hole pole on the internet and was driven mad by the sight of it.

Here is an artist's (crude) rendition of the fabled beast.

---

[windstrider]

I completely redesigned the Dos Rakis primer post, including sections for prime time players and understudy cards. I'd appreciate any suggestions for improvements.

[LP, of the Fires]

Next week my store is having Ravnica City of Guilds, Guildpact, Dissension, Return to Ravnica, Gatecrash, Dragon's Maze Sealed. HYPED.

[Alex]

That would have sounded REALLY expensive about a year and a half ago. But now that Shocks are basically worthless, that sounds awesomely fun.

We wanted to do one with Mirrodin and Scars of Mirrodin blocks, but the booster boxes for Darksteel/Mirrodin/Fifth Dawn were way too expensive.

[windstrider]

So, did we ever find out what Niv-Mizzet's plan was for the Maze?

[Sasky]

Of course. Once you get to the center of the maze you find the mythical elixir of guilds, a concoction so powerful that would render the guildpact asunder. Niv-Mizzet has timed the maze perfectly so that when someone gets to the center, he/she would discover the elixir at precisely the dawn of the seventh moon. The elixir contains:

Elixir of Guilds

---

1 raw egg
1 shot bourbon
black pepper

[TubeHunter]

Welp, Junk Varolz is an unabriged failure....

You know the deck sucks when they play a vampire nighthawk and you go: Fuck, how am I gonna deal with that?

[rcwraspy]

Wait, did Redthirst just give Kaze the recipe to giant dong just in time for his wedding night?!?

[Solemn10]

Lol. For a second I thought you were actually gonna tell us what the mazes end is really for