MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support

[Pendulum]

Hello all,
this thread is probably going to get drowned out here by bigger things in a little while, but while I have the floor I'd like to bring to everyone's attention something that I've always found absolutely hilarious: the state of MTGSalvation's tech. support forum. In order to share with you all something that I know is a niche humor market, I have chosen to provide the simple, direct answers to another website's technical problems, because let's face it trying to get a straight answer out of those guys is like asking the Wal-Mart pushes-carts guy why his company supports slave labor. Please do keep in mind that while I do plan on actually doing my own due diligence on these issues, all of my advice should be considered at best ad hoc and at worst downright malicious, this is a humor article.

You're welcome, Savvy.

[Pendulum]

Well, let's get to it.

No Backs Safari
Originally posted 11-26-2013 by Jungian Thing

When I am in a thread, over time the current page multiplies. If I press the back button, I am presented a white page with the same title as the page I am backing from. When I press and hold the back button, I am presented with a drop down listing multiples of the page I am on.

It is doing it right now. I have 9 "MTG Salvation Forums - Post New Thread". In the time I wrote this the number is at 12 and growing.

Editing and now I have 18...

Okay, listen man, I have mad respect for your username but you just committed the MTGS equivalent of a party foul: most of the mod staff is laughing up their sleeve at you, sorry, if not in the ModLounge then elsewhere, and it gets worse when you consider that your post is openly view-able so there's thousands of nerds out
there who have read your post and naturally assumed you've been looking at porn... and not the mainstream stuff either, you'd have to go pretty deep (heh) to find a site that's going to infect your computer with such a blatant virus.

It gets even more twisted, though, because while I'm not discounting the idea that you're into a little of the ol' digitized in-out (or in this case in-in-in-out), that's probably not the basis of your problem. Sad to say, while this is probably an easy fix not related to your pornhub account in the slightest, your thread is doomed to be labeled as user error and never, ever responded to because nobody wants to put their foot in their mouth and suggest you're not an upstanding member of the community or that Apple isn't something they want to fuck with; they also don't want to suggest to a legitimate member of their site that you haven't exactly done anything to fix the problem yourself... face it, Safari sucks and even diehard Apple users know it. Download
Firefox and see if the problem persists, it'll probably clear right up but if it doesn't you'll need to start pruning all those add-ons you got from the App Store until you can once again view the site in all of its, ahem, glory.
If even that doesn't do it, back up all your shit and reinstall your drivers, and you might consider, you know, calling Apple Support or Google-ing for more information, nobody on MTGS (or here for that matter) is going to want to hold your hand through this basic computing process.

[Pendulum]

Tapatalk
On 11-25-2013, RyuDragoon wrote:

Any way that we could get a tapatalk plugin so I can browse from my phone? I really enjoy this site and it is such a hassle loading it in the browser.

Kudos! In one short thread you've shown us not only that you don't know how to use the Search feature available on every forum ever, that either don't know how to use a scroll wheel or are too lazy to use it, and managed to troll the staff to the point that they're not even going to dignify your thread with a terse response of their own! Oh, also that you like obsolete forum-posting software; what's going on is that the powers-that-be are essentially ignoring the issue of bringing their forum software into the 21st century because Tapatalk and the Talklikes are pretty much no longer an issue; shell out for
a new phone 'cuz there's no way in hell Curse is going to actually pay a third party for something that old.

Also, Tapatalk and the Talklikes would be a good band name.

[Pendulum]

minor annoyance turning into a severe one
Way back on 09-03-2013, but still going strong, Digi wrote:

So lately I've been notices random redirects from this site to the Google play store from my android devices. I am now using my work phone, and am still having this problem.
I've noticed this for weeks, but just thought it was my phone and tablet acting up. But since I'm now on my work phone, which has never been used for anything except work, I am not inclined to believe my original assessment was correct.
Today I have been redirected no less than ten times. This is getting very aggrivating.

What can I do to stop this?

The thread got several responses, most notably from a user called trancekat who seems to be eyeing up a tech position over at fair Salvation, and speak of the devil a number of responses from the self-appointed tech staff as well as our own
Feyd_Ruin who proves at least that he's not above using Google, unlike pretty much every other mod in the thread. Trancekat comes back on 11-23 with

the site's advertisers are at it again and illegally embegging market:// in the banner.. getting redirects for candy crush again..

i guess if this happens again, i am done using this site on an android device.

and I'm sure that has Curse quaking in its boots.

And for posterity, posted by Sene on September 4th

Heya, we're moving to another forum software soon, which should hopefully put an end to these issues. However, I have notified the Curse technicians of this & directed them to this thread. They'll look into it.

which I'm quoting here specifically because I love it when Sene uses the word "soon" in relation to anything MTGSalvation-related.

Anyway, to the actual issue, while I admire trancekat's fight-the-Man attitude and he's got it mostly right,
what I find truly, hilariously admirable about this thread is that the staff's attitude of wringing its hands in dismay over the concerns of its users while still managing to avoid their concerns peaks in an epic fashion; see, in order to fix the problem on 'their' end, they'd actually have to tell someone to tell someone to tell an advertiser that they don't want their money, which... isn't happening, duders. They're living the dream, getting paid to host an internet bulletin board, and while they're more than happy to look like they want to help (they are trying to climb that corporate ladder, after all), the bottom line is literally the bottom line here: Curse has enough trouble dealing with switching the domain over to a new server and new software while still trying to grinch the same prices for that precious ad-space as it is, they're not going to muck it all up now by actually talking to an advertiser about their shady business practices. Sorry guys, download the app, unless you actually
believe Seneta Claus is going to come down your chimney with presents for all the good little kiddies.

Also, in an effort to get you to understand why I find all of this shit so funny, I truly, absolutely love love love it when they pull out that old line about how they're switching over to the beta soon as though these same problems aren't just a malclick away from cropping up there as well as soon as it has enough traffic to be worthwhile; if anybody actually believes that the beta is some magical Christmasland answer to all their foruming problems, then I envy their delusion.

[rezombad]

The issue happens on other curse sites as well.
This is a valued feature of curse websites
It isn't going away, ever.

[Kazekirimaru]

Revive Misclick and apply for a Tech Support position.

[Pendulum]

Revive Misclick and apply for a Tech Support position.

Sene> Hey, um, did you really change the font color to black on black?
DanTech> Oh, yeah, sorry, that was a misclick.
DanTech> awwyeah.jpg
Sene> LOL but you've used that excuse like twenty times in the two days you've had the position.
DanTech> yeah I'm an idiot sorry /srs
Galspanic> Listen we might have to demod you if this shit keeps happening
DanTech> Yeah, good luck with that.

[Kazekirimaru]

Please make this a reality.

[Helios]

This thread is hilarious. +1

[Pendulum]

This thread is hilarious. +1

And all I ask in return is continued enabling from my readers.

Bug when reaching page 1068+
Appropriately enough for such a numerically centered thread, on 11-12-13 lith wrote:

http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showt...7935&page=1067

you can never go to next pages(1068 and above), not even type it the address bar in browser

lith's location, btw, is "a tapped island," has been a member of MTGSalvation since it went live back in May of 2005 with a massive 255 posts, and has as a quote the phrase "Art means ALL. Who cares what's in the textbox?" in
plaintext, thus meaning that the bigger question from a computing standpoint isn't so much the question asked but rather who's nicely-aged gimmick they are.

Viperesque, everyone's favorite admin-cum-global, answers this question neatly enough on the following day:

As far as I can tell, it's due to the page numbering trying to factor in deleted posts. At the very least, the bug doesn't occur for anyone who can view deleted posts in the thread (I had to get on a gimmick to replicate it). It certainly isn't failing to display actual content. That's about as much as I can offer you, unfortunately - with the new version of the site close to going live, there's not much point using the techs' time on this build.

Oh wait, did I say 'answers'? I meant "really wants to tell you he doesn't give one tin shit about your problem," although he is quick to let you know that his gimmick really and for reals knows that feel.

Before I get into the actual
permissions set that's the catalyst for what's happening, let's do a small experiment in logical fallacies, shall we? Basic logic argumentation, often known as debate, dictates that when you have a starting point of reference and an end result, you can draw a conclusion from these points of data; data that indicates a true 'path' that can be logically verified or assumed is considered valid, and other conclusions, those that leave some gap in the logic chain, are unverifiable and fall into the category of fallacious reasoning; this is generally known as 'bullshit.'
The particular type of logical fallacy being used by your fair moderator here is known as 'poisoning the well': a nice, paints-a-picture-in-your-mind fallacy that seeds a bit of disinformation into the argumentation that is designed to draw the whole of the argumentative stance into an area where the (often valid) line of reasoning is deconstructed whole without an attempt made to separate the invalid from the valid complaints.

nMore specifically, the reason lith's account recognizes the deleted posts but doesn't allow him/her to see them is because of something called permission sets: unlike in Magic where a 'no' trumps a 'yes,' in computing a 'yes' (1) trumps a 'no' (0), and these permissions are giving lith's computer a case of schizophrenia, telling it both that yes, there are additional pages to the thread, and no, he can't look at them they don't exist obv obv obv. Computers handle mental infirmities better than humans, however, and see absolutely no problem with the fact that in an alternate reality lith has all the powers of a moderator.
Where does this come in when combined with my above rant about fallacious reasons? Well, let's follow the line of reasoning, shall we?
lith's account has juxtaposing permissions sets >
lith's account has been or will be ported over to the beta without alterations >
nothing to see here.

Which is perfectly fine from Viper's perspective; those Curse techs
gotta get paid for something more substantial than asking you if you've turned the device off and then on again, right? Who cares that the permissions code is going to be twice as hard to extricate when porting one permissions set over to a completely different frameware hub? Certainly, certainly this won't come back to bite you in the ass.

Now, the fix is easy enough. All you have to do is fix the permissions yourself, by going into the root directory of your computer, finding something labeled " _.1." followed by "forums.mtgsalvation.com" and oh no your computer froze when did that happen!? Easier fix: wait a few months until the beta actually goes live, then lie your ass off and tell the staff you can read a bunch of deleted posts (hints on making it believable: 1) it's pr0n, 2) it's in a foreign language, 3) did I mention it's pr0n?) and get them to make you a mod.

[Pendulum]

Ah, what a throwback.

On 11-10-13, BlippyTheSlug wrote:

I post a lot of stuff in the NSFW Creative Writing subforum. The censor is off for this particular sibforum.

I noticed today while editing one of my pieces that when I switch back and forth between the text and WYSIWIG editor, the censor kicks in, and filters my words.

Normally, this not an issue. But in my "works", I choose my words with care, and sometimes my work has a lot of censorable words. This makes it a pain having to go back an uncensor the censor.

Can anything be done about this?

Jesus Christ, Blips, you're still using Whatoosee? You know they make these things called 'clouds' now that... oh, nevermind.
Have you tried turning off your device and turning it back on again? Have you grandma?

[Pendulum]

Pokemon MWS - Card Images
On 11-30-2013, Berilio wrote:

I searched for the card images to play pokemon on MWS, but all links are broken

Any1 can give me a working link?

Thx!

Aha! The system is working, thanks to my efforts here we're starting to get real tech questions in the mix again! I'm so super excited that you're asking something that isn't based on Sally's failings that I'm even going to ignore the fact that being seven years old is against the terms and agreements you agreed to when you signed up for an account! Also, I'm pretty sure this forum's lone moderator is going to red-card the fuck out of me if I bash Pokemon, so factor that in to my answer.

Feasibly, yes, there is a
way to just jank the living hell out of MWS to let you play Pokemon on it, but considering that there's at last count an infinite number of 'mons for you to, er, catch 'em all of, you're better off downloading Redshark.
http://pokebeach.com/tcg/redshark

Now, let's talk about Google. It is your friend. I know, it can be scary, you can type literally anything into that search bar, but trust me, it's well worth the time invested... heck, once you've lerned2Google, I might even wager you might discover something even more fun than Pokemon, strange as that might seem to you now! It took me a lot of seconds to learn how to use it too, but I can tell you, it was worth it.

actual non-ranting space sold here

---

Google is, far and away, my favorite megacorporation. I hate spending money at Wal-
Mart, McDonald's, or most of the other plutocratic systems, because when I give them money they use it on stupid shit like subjugating third-world nations or trying to figure out if maybe they couldn't make their food just a little more poisonous... but you know what Google spends its money on? Automated cars, Geordi LaForge glasses, and paying two guys to take pictures of roads.. every goddamn road ever. That's an evil empire I can get behind.

[Kazekirimaru]

Pokebashing? Too far, too far.

[Pendulum]

Ooh, looks like Feyd decided to (quote/unquote) work today!

Updates on 2 of the previous threads:
In No backs Safari Feyd has jumped in with:

Without knowing your full setup, this feels like a broken Safari extension.

What extensions are you running?

which can only be answered with:



followed by an urgent plea for the OP to post all of his extensions so that dear ol' Feyd can do a quick [F]ind search for an incriminating ".exe" file and save him what might be dozens of minutes worth of work. Classic Sally, and I admire Feyd's troll here immensely (I know I'll laugh when the poor kid actually posts his cookies for all the world to see), but let's leave this one be for now; I'd hate to ruin a good lol-bait with, you know, actual
advice that might help the user.

The more lulzy post from our own E_R F_R, though, rests in his response to the previous Tapatalk thread:

It's been discussed many times.

It will be considered once we transition to the new forum software.

You can learn a lot about the way MTGSalvation does things from this post. First and foremost, it begs the obvious question "Why?" Why in the great googledyfuckingmoogledy would you wait until after the core changes have been implemented and the, ahem, transition has taken place to install what might be one of the biggest, most requested, and most desirable add-ons that you could possibly give your users, when it would be easier and safer in both the long and the short run to talk about it for-fucks-sake now? Second, why talk about it at all, instead of doing that classic Curse move and restructuring the software to fake the same mode as Tapatalk
would? Hell, our little freeware forum has the same basic functionality as Tapatalk, you're telling me downloading the appropriate patch is somehow "low on the list of priorities" like it would take more than 10 seconds?
Which is it, man? Are you lying to your users, or are you just too fuckin' lazy to give them a real answer? Either one is a real possibility.

Ugh. That one actually got me worked up a bit, so I'll just end with:


and the url:
http://l.wigflip.com/3GUESPZv/roflbot.jpg
in case anyone wants to give the users on Sally better advice than the mods manage.

[Kaitscralt]

Feydhax, the best kind of ineffectual hax

[Pendulum]

Crashing my phone
On 11-4-13, LordOwlingtonIII wrote:

I'm running a windows phone, and MtGS keeps killing my web browser.
It will stop loading mid-page, freeze, and to get my browser to do anything else I have to kill the tab.
This happens with alarming frequency.

And let me just say, I prefer the standard 3-lines-of-text approach to technical issues, rather than the here's-three-pages-of-text-that-doesn't-mean-a-damn-thing approach.

Here's what's happening, Owly: your phone is a hero and deserves a medal.

See, it's those damn ads again; have you noticed that they even have a friggin' ad behind the main site banner? Seriously, someone should report them to oh wait there's no agency to report them to 'cuz interwebz.
Here's a good representation of what's going on. Let's
say you decide to take a walk in the woods. Normal computing is basically like this, trying to get you from your starting point (ostensibly, your home) to a series of different bucolic vistas, or in this case thinly veiled posts about the importance of sexual and racial diversity. In this 'walk,' you're going to encounter a series of setbacks: do you want to use the path y/n? Do you want to stop and check out this page about sucking off a dog y/n? Simple enough, and your phone is a valuable ally in navigating you around the pitfalls while you are on your quest.
The problem is, every time you stop, the advertisements reload. Think of these as big, roaming bears; they're not evil, really, they're just guided by their instincts, and whether these instincts lead them toward enticing you into a relaxing trip to Mazatlan or raping you to death, they're still God's creatures. Usually, your phone's browser is effective in avoiding these bears, they don't walk very fast and since there's so much
juicy rape-meat roaming that site at any given time their hearts aren't really into raping you exclusively. But, when you start slapping ads everywhere, your bound to hit points on your journey where you encounter more than one rape-bear at a time, and when that happens peer pressure results: the rape-bear advertisements don't want to look like pussies in front of their friends, so they start talking about just how badly they're going to rape you to look tough. This gets the other rape-bears worked up, and soon they're closing in on you, it's your own fault for wanting to take a walk in the woods.
This is where your phone has to make a choice, and like the saint it is it decides that saving you is worth the timeless rape nightmare that awaits it, so it bravely throws itself into the gathering horde of advertisements, all the while vainly trying to tell you to run, run like the wind even though by this point its ability to communicate has been completely, and in the most
disturbing way possible, been removed.
Honor your phone's memory. Turn it off then back on again, and salute that brave soldier.

Either that or it's a cross-site scripting issue you can't do anything to fix until Windows decides it wants you to be able to use internet forums (or MTGS installs Tapatalk), which according to a quick Google search is the probable issue, but really that's just splitting hairs.

[Pendulum]

*snort*
Well have you, rezombad? Have you tried turning your device off and then on again disabling javascript in your browser? My God in heaven, someone please tell me Poppeleseed is trolling here and that isn't serious advice.

[Pendulum]

Oh joy what fun today!

Let's start with the easy one.
Delete profile
Yesterday, macadamia666 wrote:

I would like to delete my account,can any moderator help me?

and Gassy answered with "sometimes when I herp I derp no we don't do that."

This... is true. MTGSalvation has this weird thing where they believe that every post ever made is so important to the mainframe that deleting an account is tantamount to hiring a hooker: everyone thinks about it but they don't admit to it while they're with a particular set of friends. No mod can help you, sorry, Mac.
But fear not! As it turns out, I can help you instead, or rather, I can point you in the right direction, you'll have to deal with the fallout on your own.

Your hope lies in sending a request to your email service provider. Like Magic's "first in last out"
rule, what you do with your MTGS account is tied inextricably to the email account you used to sign up for the service.. the only verifiable personal information you gave them when you started the account is an email address, because you need that address before you can have the MTGS account, that email address's information matrix takes precedence to MTGS's code of conduct; it doesn't matter that you agreed to their ToS (part of which is a declaration that they can do with your posts as they see fit) because before you did that, you agreed to your email service provider's! As much as Sally's staff would like you to believe they own your info, they do not; but then again, neither do you.. you act as a representative of Google, Microsoft, Yahoo!, your ISP, or whatever service you use to receive emails.

So what you can do is send a query to your email provider, tell them that you used their email to sign up for a service that you now regret, and see what they say. What
will probably happen is that you'll get a bunch of automated responses, which will allow you to climb the chain of communication until you start talking to a real person, but if you make enough of a fuss and become a squeaky enough wheel, odds are likely that they will eventually send a request of their own to fair Savvy, and at that point it seems likely that fair Savvy with fold to their demands rather than fight for the right to party hold onto your 5 whopping posts. This will, in no way, be worth the time you invested, but it would be one hell of a moral victory.

[Pendulum]

And now for the main event:
the continuing saga of the Candy Crush redirect

For those of you just joining us, for the past forever Curse has had a love-hate relationship going on with their advertisers; it's actually a little hard finding advertisers willing to pay you for click-through ads on their specialty websites: their competitors, of course, don't want to have any face time on their sites, and neutral parties are hesitant to affiliate their names with a website that is known for producing smelly nerds and debates about gender privilege. Curse's answer to this has always been to spam whatever ads that Google will give them, and thanks to something called the "lowest common denominator" their ads tend to be from companies that don't necessarily care a whole lot about what's showing up on the user's screen. This was a problem from before Curse took over as well; I think we all
remember with a certain fondness the infamous "Ass Ad" that Hannes didn't give a shit about.

Of course, the united front of the staff has been that this becomes a non-issue once they transfer over to the beta, and they keep insisting that this will happen soon, despite all evidence to the contrary (I'll get into that again some day, I'm sure). Things come to a head over the past several days in the main tech. support complaint thread, headed primarily by our own rezombied but with a lot of fun little posts by others.
Now that everyone's up to speed, let's start here:

Poppeleseed wrote on 12-08:

Have you tried disabling javascript in your browser?

which produced a snarky comment from me above, a seriously pissed off post from an admirable poster called Magicman657, and this response from rezombied:

How is that a solution?

It would be like; one day, a bar I like to visit is infested with bees. Instead of getting rid of the bees,
management has issued a statement that anyone that doesn't like it can wear a beekeeper suit. I can't wear the bee suit all the time, because almost every other business I frequent requires you to not be dressed like an idiot. So whenever I want to go to this bar I have to either deal with potentially getting stung, or take the time to put on a bee suit. Even if I want to run in real quick and say hi, I run the risk of being stung.

Isn't the solution to get rid of the bees, even if your exciting bee circus webcam generates $0.0003 per visitor?

An admirable statement, to say the least.

Xenphire then chimes, because he always does, with a reminder that he's into an alternative lifestyle, but does provide a solid voice that it's not actually a user problem but rather a system error, which is nice even though we all already knew that.
And just a little while ago, Poppeleseed is back with:

I'm taking this thread over now. nRezombied - I'll be taking the Candy Crush issue to our Curse overlords this evening. The JavaScript thing is a temp fix; hopefully we can get this resolved quickly.

In the mean time, any relevant information you can give me would be great.

Which has inspired me to post the following:


I especially like the part where he requests any additional information we can provide, so that he can get the whole story, as though this hasn't been going on for months now over a series of different threads... oh, and the part that Pops hasn't really ever shown any particular proclivity for doing anything other than getting hit on by Annaria, and his sudden appearance as the Person Of Interest in this debacle is about as random as Senori's sudden appearance just in time to put the final nail in the Gutter's coffin last year. Anybody else finding his
sigquote especially ironic right about now?

Here's where I prove that I am, at heart, a philanthropist: what you should have said, Pops, is
"If you'd like to see quick resolution to this problem, feel free to email our Curse overlords at [email protected]."
See how simple that was? If you weren't so mired in your own sense of self-importance, 'cuz swimming real good just isn't getting you where you want to be, you'd see that action by the people who have to deal with the issue is far more fruitful and important than you stepping in and playing Jesus for a bunch of internet nerds... or at least, you could explain to us why we're not good enough to talk to the Curse techs ourselves. You're coming across as an overtitled brat, same as always, and while I'm sure that's a nice little warm fuzzy you've got going on there I hope you won't mind if I smile a little smile of my own when the
wolves eat you alive... and they will, you don't have the permissions required to do anything other than stand there holding a shovel while other people put the real work in.

[Kazekirimaru]

Will the Candy Crush redirects ever end?

Will rezombied wear a beesuit?

Does anyone give a fuck about Xenphire's butt-thumping?

Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion! Same bat-time, same bat-channel!

[Mcdonalds]

Whats the bat-channel?

[Pendulum]

Haves/Wants Search Not Working
Just now, Cythare told us that they really, really like colors, oh and also:

I just tried using the Haves/Wants Search Engine, and when I hit "Search Now", I keep getting "No threads have been found" regardless of what I type in. It was working earlier this morning.

This is a known discrepancy, coming and going in various stages. I suggest you use a good ol' Google search instead. If you can't figure out how to use "inurl:forums.mtgsalvation.com" tags on Google you probably have bigger problems than trading Magic cards on the internet.

The continuing Candy Crush Saga
Two things happened overnight:
1) Poppeleseed, as predicted, did nothing.
2) Gassy stepped in to give us this glimmering gem in an otherwise piling heap of digestive biproduct:
[quote:
346u1m18]Any problem is looked at from both points of view. By eliminating the user end it makes it easier to see on our end.[/quote]
Ah, Gassy, when did you decide it was okay to go full retard? Oh, wait.
You remember how you used to be respected by the community, Gals, enough to win some vague award or something? How you used to actually delight in the detecting process? Sigh, yeah, I miss those days too. Stop doing your Ben impression, stop attempting to placate people's valid concerns, and say something worthwhile.

[Pendulum]

In case anyone is wondering, I'm ignoring Bateleur's post because there's nothing to fix. Curse ain't getting rid of their float-point ads, and therefore the only real response I can tell the poor guy is that his waffling, hand-wringing post about the advantages of fixed-point ads and how he might have to maybe consider taking action if the mood hits him although he's really busy just isn't going to get him anywhere. If he really wanted change, his post would state proudly how he has already installed the adblocker and told all of his friends to do it, and hit Curse right in the wallet, but I'm just not feelin' it.
What I am here to do (besides bump my thread) is to start a tally: Total number of days its been since Poppeleseed said he's going to take over the Candy Crush saga and make it his bitch that night before he mysteriously vanished 3[/
b]

[Pendulum]

lolololol Total number of days since Poppeleseed said he'd have fixed the issue of the Candy Crush redirects 4 Total number of threads he's co-opted and told people to, you know, just kinda turn off Javascript 2



And let's be clear here, at this point that's the issue, not the redirects themselves; I can't think of a single job, or even a volunteer position, in the real world where you can get away with telling your consumer that you'll do something about the issue, fail to follow up, and not be reprimanded.

[Kazekirimaru]

He'd make a fantastic candidate for US public office.

[Pendulum]

#thanksModbama

[Pendulum]

Oh, haha, sorry I missed these posts last night.
12-14-13, 9:35 AM, Poppeleseed wrote:

As a temp-fix, try disabling JavaScript in your browser. That should stop it for the time being.

I'll get you an udate here as soon as I know.

Everyone on the same page? Good, because you're about to see how a person becomes my hero.
A couple of hours later, Dutch253 posts:

Will do. Thanks! Hopefully it works, it's getting obnoxious.

Followed by this, about 6 hours later:

Disabled JavaScript and unfortunately it's not doing anything..

Which completely throws off Pops!

Hmm... Try checking out this [linking to Feyd's long string of bullshit] post here. Feyd highlights an article about this issue and how to (potentially) fix it. If you google search "
adtrack.king.com" there's a bunch of links to tech forums with several people mentioning what worked for them.

Unfortunately, I'm not too familiar with the iOS :-\

...which is surprisingly accurate when you realize how often Pops wears a swimsuit.

But, since Pops did good-naturedly suggest using Google to fix the problem, I did a little Google search of my own. From the Wikipedia for Malvertising:
How it works

Websites or web publishers unknowingly incorporate a corrupted or malicious advertisement into their page. Once the advertisement is in place, and visitors begin
clicking on it, their computer can become infected: "the user clicks on the ad to visit the advertised site, and instead is directly infected or redirected to a malicious site. These sites trick users into copying viruses or spyware usually disguised as Flash files, which are very popular on the web." [8] Redirection is often built into online advertising, and this spread of malware is often successful because users expect a redirection to happen when clicking on an advertisement. A redirection that is taking place only needs to be co-opted in order to infect a user's computer.[1]

Malvertising often involves the exploitation of trustworthy companies. Those attempting to spread malware place “clean” advertisements on trustworthy sites first in order to gain a good reputation, then they later "insert a virus or spyware in the code behind the ad, and after a mass virus infection is produced, they remove the virus", thus infecting all visitors of the site during that time period. The
identities of those responsible are often hard to trace, making it hard to prevent the attacks or stop them altogether, because the "ad network infrastructure is very complex with many linked connections between ads and click-through destinations." [8]

Types and modes

By visiting websites that are affected by malvertising, users are at risk of infection. There are many different methods used for injecting malicious advertisements or programs into webpages:

Pop-up ads for deceptive downloads, such as fake anti-virus programs that install malicious software on the computer.[2]
In-text or in-content advertising
Drive-by downloads.[2]
Web widgets in which redirection can be co-opted into redirecting to a malicious site.[3]
Attackers embed hidden iframes that spread malware into websites.[3]
Content Delivery Networks (CDNs can be exploited to share malware.[3]
Malicious banners on websites.[3]
Third-party advertisements on webpages.
[11]
Third-party applications, such as forums, help desks, CRM and CMS.[11]

Which is obviously telling me, I don't know about anyone else but this is just me, that's totes telling me it's a user-based error, right? Or the several people who have stepped forward, including members of staff, who have confirmed this isn't a user maldirect, that means it's a user-based error, right? That's totally objective threat assessment, there can be no doubt, I'm sure. Trust me.

The Punchline

---

Since 2002, all Macintosh products are based on a realtime runtime environment similar to what Java does to your computer. All that happened when that poor kid shut off his Java is let the maldirect fall one level closer to his root directory. Jolly good show indeed.

Got that little nugget of truth from Google, btw. Took .02 seconds.

[Pendulum]

*ahem
@2:44 standard time today, Dutch was back.

Now it's doing it with some game called Dark District...can't win for losing lol.

Oh, Dutch, Dutch, Dutch. You ever seen X-Men? 5th Element? Really, there are a ton of movies and television shows that will help you understand what you're going through. See, what you've just done is provide the first line of reference to what will become a spiraling degredation; you've just proven not only that Curse has its head up its own asshole, but that the maldirects aren't relegated to Candy Crush. You're the first of a new breed of MTGS users, and in time I hope you realize the level of respect I have for you for doing so. You're the Queen, deinem Eine. Like any person, this will at first confuse you, then anger you, but trust that your legacy will stand. I salute you, sir, for your service.

For the rest of
you, this proof of malice and if you haven't already you should probably be turning on your adblocker, make sure your antivirus is up to date (I suggest Avast if you need a new one), and consider running a proxy to protect yourself (I suggest TOR, it's the easiest and if you're bored there's a bunch of tricks you can do with it). Also now would be a good time to clean out PM inbox/outbox over there and start bugging the admins to switch your associations over to a secondary (or even tertiary) email address. If you need help with this process I'm around.

[zemanjaski]

Can I get some tech support if you;re free Pendi?

Pretty sure it is from watching porn / torrenting stuff for a few years, but recently I have the following problems:
- my C:drive has almost no memory and I keep getting warning messages. Thing is I don't install anything there (my C drive has 40 gig of memory, my D has 400 so I put everything there); I have tried a clean up and a defrag as well to no avail;
- I am starting to get redirects away from pages; so I will be browsing DTR before been whisked away to a "congradulations you have won..." or "limited time special offer, press OK!" page and then have to click back here. There are also ad banners everywhere, way more than there used to be.

It isn't a huge deal if you can't help, the comp is 5 years old and I have a new one; but I would like to keep it functioning a bit better if possible.

Let me know what info you need (and how to get it,
I am sadly not computer savvy).

Thanks
Zem

[rezombad]

https://adblockplus.org/

[Pendulum]

Yes, try that link, it'll probably solve the problem nice and easy.
What's probably going on is that your computer is trying to tell you that it's out of RAM, which is the type of memory your computer uses to run itself ("short-term memory", stuff you need right now), not ROM ("long-term" memory, where all the important stuff is saved). The virus/es are eating up the RAM by spamming your browser with ads.. get rid of the ads and you should stop getting the overflow problem as well.

If that doesn't work or whatever, feel free to ask; just two questions in that instance, though, 1) what's the operating system and 2) is that D: drive a removable storage device?

[zemanjaski]

1. Windows Vista
2. It's internal

Ill let you know how I go, thanks guys.

[zemanjaski]

Hmm did not work.

Still getting pop ups, still extra banners all over the place What's the next good option? I guess I could put all my valuable stuff on an external drive then try to wipe the entire thing?

[zemanjaski]

[Kazekirimaru]

People use Vista willingly?

[zemanjaski]

Came with the computer so I just suffered through it.

[hamfactorial]

When I helped friends out, I pointed them to a program called Spybot S&D which scanned and cleaned out known malware.

[Kazekirimaru]

What you need to do, James, is find a file called "System32" and promptly delete it.

[zemanjaski]

Thanks Ham.

Kaze, die.

[zemanjaski]

OK update.

I ran a malware removal bot and found out how to delete all the extensions attached to firefox that were causing problems. The internet part of the comp runs much faster and without the popups / redirects. So that is sorted!

This however has not resolved the issue of my full C:Drive; any ideas there? Thanks team.