The Good, The Blathering, and The Ugly 7

[zemanjaski]

I know what you did.

[Kazekirimaru]

Remember when Quaker advertised their Chewy granola bars with the pitch that they'd make your children shut the fuck up?

The fuck is with people that "parents who can't handle their kids' incessant curiosity" is a targetable demographic?

[TubeHunter]

nope.avi

[rezombad]

swap.avi

[Kaitscralt]

I didn't know Bitsy won an invitational

[Stardust]

Remember when Quaker advertised their Chewy granola bars with the pitch that they'd make your children shut the fuck up?

The fuck is with people that "parents who can't handle their kids' incessant curiosity" is a targetable demographic?

"No, you can't have a cookie."
"Why?"
"Because I said so."
"Why?"
"Because I'm your father and I know what's best for you."
"Why?"
"Because I have more life experience than you do."
"Why?"
"Because I've been alive for 25 more years than you have."
"Why?"
"Because I was born earlier than you were."
"Why?"
"Because your grandparents had sex."
"Why?"
"Because humans generally consider the act of sex to be pleasurable. Just ask Checkbox."
"Why?"
"Because he apparently has sex with something on a semi-regular basis."
"Why?"
"Well, I'm not sure. I guess she finds him attractive?"
"Why?"
"That's a very good question."
"Why?"
"Well, because it's a question I don't know the answer to."
"Why?"
"I've never even met her."
"Why?"
"Umm... because I don't even know who she is."
"Why?"
"Never asked."
"Why?"
"Don't care."
"Why?"
"I guess I'm just a self-absorbed asshole who doesn't care about anyone on the internet."
"Why?"
"Because they are relatively unimportant to my life."
"Why?"
"Because I have more important things to care about."
"Why?"
"Well, it's just a matter of priorities. I care more about you, for example."
"Why?"
"As this conversation goes on, I've been asking myself the same question..."
"Why?"
"Because you're pretty fucking annoying."
"Why?"
"Because you keep asking me the same question over and over again."
"Why?"
"I'm not sure. You tell me."
"Why?"
"Because I have no idea what goes on in your head."
"Why?"
"Because I'm not a mind reader."
"Why?"
"Because the human mind is an illusory construct that naturally arises from the chemical processes in your brain."
"Why?"
"I'm not sure, ask God."
"Why?"
"Because he'd probably know."
"Why?"
"He supposedly knows everything."
"Why?"
"Because he was made that way."
"Why?"
"Well, uh, I'm not sure."
"Why?"
"Because I have no idea who made God."
"Why?"
"Because they don't teach that stuff in Sunday school."
"Why?"
"I guess because they don't know either."
"Why?"
"Because the notion that someone else made God shakes them to the very core."
"Why?"
Iridium.
"Why?"
Iridium.
"Why?"
Iridium.
"Why?"
Iridium.
"Why?"
"I don't know."
"Why?"
Iridium.
"Why?"
"Because some people would rather not ask the tough questions."
"Why?"
"Because they're hard to answer."
"Why?"
"Because they're tough questions."
"Why?"
"Because they're hard to answer."
"Why?"
"Because they're tough questions."
"Why?"
"Because they're hard to answer."
"Why?"
"Because they're tough questions."
"Why?"
"Because they're hard to answer."
"Why?"
"Because they're tough questions."
"Why?"
"Because they're hard to answer."
"Why?"
"Because even the philosophers of old couldn't have answered that question."
"Why?"
"Because they didn't know everything, despite doing a pretty good job given their level of technology and lack of scientific approach."
"Why?"
"Because they didn't actually do experiments. They just thought about things and sometimes came to the wrong conclusion since they never applied it in the real world."
"Why?"
"Because it was easier maybe?
"Why?"
"Because no one likes to tackle tough questions."
"Why?"
"Because they're hard to answer."
"Why?"
"Because they're tough questions."
"Why?"
"Because they're hard to answer."
"Why?"
"Because they're tough questions."
"Why?"
"Because the questions themselves possess a quality known as "tough" which can apply to numerous things."
"Why?"
"Some philosophers would say that it's because "tough" is a universal, a class of independent entities used to explain relations of qualitative identity and resemblance among individuals. Basically, the question itself isn't inherently tough, just that it is covered by that particular universal."
"Why?"
"Because those philosophers are idiots."
"Why?"
"Because they invent entities to explain the tough questions when really you should just focus on what matters most in life."
"Why?"
"Because talking about why this thing is orange and that thing is also orange, but that thing is red, and what does it all mean, is a waste of time."
"Why?"
"Because it has no application in real life."
"Why?"
"Because that thing is orange, end of story."
"Why?"
"Because I'm tired of discussing meta physics with you."
"Why?"
"Because you don't understand it anyway."
"Why?"
"I dunno, I guess you're stupid."
"Why?"
"You were born that way."
"Why?"
"Bad genes, I suppose."
"Why?"
"Goddamnit, just eat this granola bar!"
"Why?"
"Because it's tasty."
"Why?"
"Because it has chocolate chips and basically the same sugar content as a cookie."
"... Okay!"

[DroppinSuga]

It's almost like Stardust has kids

[Stardust]

[iamabadman]

i wouldnt trust stardust with a pen

[rezombad]

I also heard that he was a giant volleyball playing opera singer.

[Stardust]

I also heard that he was a giant volleyball playing opera singer.

Who told you!

That concussion was actually pretty brutal. Woke up in a neck brace in the hospital, then slipped in and out of consciousness for the next several hours.

[rezombad]

Yeah you're not supposed to sleep when you have a concussion.

[Stardust]

I'd like to see you try and stop me.

[Stardust]

Anyway, you can sleep, it's just best if you're woken up every hour or so.

[rezombad]

This is America.

[iamabadman]

ill keep you awake.



with





gas

[Thrillho]

cure your concussion with this one weird trick

[Thrillho]

sit in your garage with the car running and a tube leading from the exhaust to your window

[Thrillho]

knocks that concussion right out

[Stardust]

cure your concussion with this one weird trick

But did it make some local mom $543 a day? Did she make doctors furious?

[iamabadman]

was she fat in the butt

[iamabadman]

was dat ass fat?

[rezombad]

I believe she had a lot of junk in the trunk.

[Thrillho]

cure your concussion with this one weird trick

But did it make some local mom $543 a day? Did she make doctors furious?

all the local bee keepers are pulling their hair out over this single odd maneuver.

[Stardust]

That loss of business must have really stung.

[Thrillho]

do you ever get 90s anthem "roll to me" stuck in your head for days on end at a time and nothing can cure it

[Thrillho]

flockavelli

[Stardust]

Whoa, I'm under some kind of thanks attack. My thanks to post ratio just jumped from 6.8% to 9.0%.

[Stardust]

Oh my God! It's still going! 9.5% and climbing!

[Second Harkius]

Riddle me this: Am I welcome on MTGCommunity?

[Manasjap]

Stop posting, you'll lose your edge.

[rezombad]

Oh my God! It's still going! 9.5% and climbing!

caring about thanks

[Stardust]

Oh my God! It's still going! 9.5% and climbing!

caring about thanks

[iamabadman]

Riddle me this: Am I welcome on MTGCommunity?

[Stardust]

Is that a tsintaosaurus?

[Stardust]

No, wait, can't be. Tsintaosaurus is Chinese and that guy is definitely not Chinese.

[imopen2]

Oh my God! It's still going! 9.5% and climbing!

caring about thanks

Says the guy who spent hours thanking over a thousand posts

[Kaitscralt]

Tom Riddle is an anagram of I am Talore

[( G_R )]

[Second Harkius]

nobody answered his riddle so he left.